In my experience, it is 100% about looks with men. They are always looking out for the newer, shinier woman, even when they already have a good woman.

You said women could answer so here goes. When I look for a man, if I were to look for a date, I always look at the heart. If you can love a person for how they are inside, they do become beautiful to you on the outside as well. I don't have to have somebody who's really handsome and especially not with muscles. I want somebody who's real. Honest and genuine. Treats me like a lady should be treated. Mutual respect. Very down to earth guy. That's what I like. And I really am inclined to the big guys. Ones with meat on them and are chubby hahaha that some women might not find attractive or want to date but I do. I find them very attractive. However I do not in any way like this new fad out, where they let their whiskers grow down their neck. To me that's gross. It looks nasty and grundy. However, I do love a man with a beard or mustache or both. I just love the bigger men, as they are so cozy and comfortable to hug and snuggle. I love that. Good hygiene is a must.

Not someone in a suit and all business like. No. Not for me. Just somebody who's not going to play games with me and will be honest and open with me. Basically, my best friend. That's what I'm looking for and I think that's what women should look for, is their best friend, whom they know won't mess over them and they can count on them to not be stupid and cheat. Trust is a major issue, when it comes to the man I want. Where there's no trust and no honesty, there's no relationship. I would never cheat on my man and I definitely expect the same from them.

I wish you the best in your hunt. Choose wisely. Especially choose someone who treats you respectfully and would never abuse you or try to be dominating. Especially never go with a man who has anger issues or a quick temper. Never!

Looks are not everything. It's what's in the heart that counts.

I've got an excellent partner. We've been through a lot. Four kids, all grown, gone and professionally successful.

Anyone who judges a woman (or man) on looks alone will fail. A permanent partner is the goal. Love, respect, communication and a sense of humor help a lot.

Absolutely—thank you for sharing something so heartfelt.

I’ve lived and loved long enough to know that what you’re looking for isn’t impossible. In fact, it’s what many of us quietly hope for, too. I appreciate someone who is honest, kind, and brings a genuine heart to the table.

Looks may catch the eye, but it’s character, warmth, and emotional connection that truly keep someone around. Depth matters. Loyalty matters. Being seen and accepted for who you are—not just how you appear—is everything.

So yes, there are still people out there who value that. Keep showing up as your full self. The right person will recognize the beauty in that.

As we get older, I think we need to look past the appearances but I think we'd all agree that physical attraction is still important to some degree.

For me, a woman I would be interested in would naturally need to be somewhat physically attractive to me but a huge part of her attraction for me is her personality ( )..... I'll add understanding, compassion and patience and a lack of entitlement.. I don't have a particular type of look or features that I would look for.
I wouldn't date online I don't think again. I did once for a short time but it seemed much longer and was sadly disappointing. I'm not a drinker but regardless, I also rule out bars. I don't go to them.


Definitely positives especially if the first two exist and are genuine.


I like to believe in these things, but really question if any of the qualities mentioned above even exist anymore.

Attraction is important at the beginning. You're going to need that spark to further that along. What's inside will keep you interested for the longer term. Love, respect, friendship, kindness, laughter will get you through things good and bad that life throws at you. If you're very lucky, when you're both old, sitting in those rocking chairs enjoying your legacy, it will be interesting conversation that will sustain you and at times keep you alive. Because in the end that will be all that you have left.

Btw I've been with the Mr. for over 40 years, married for most of that. 2 kids, 30 years in the same home. High school sweethearts. We've seen and been through a lot. Almost broke us sometimes. I am so grateful for my life.

I will try to give you an honest and self-aware answer.

Looks have often been part of what gets me interested in a person - whether as a potential lover or as a friend.

Looks become less important as a connection deepens and a relationship continues. My appreciation for the person grows to include all kinds of things about them that I didn't even know about before.

Since you are looking for a boyfriend, I will mention that smart men know that being good in bed has little to do with looks.

However, looks are part of who a person is and how they express themselves. Someone who lives an active life and/or has an exercise routine will probably look better (to most people, anyway) than someone who is out of shape because of being sedentary. Someone with an expressive face and a nice smile (which does not require perfect teeth!), will look better than someone who is glum or bored looking all the time.

And regardless of a person's face and physique, how they dress can make a huge difference. A colourful or creative or stylish way of dressing (which may or may not include makeup, and jewellery) is a huge part of a person's looks, and expresses an interesting personality.

Do men only care about looks? No. Do looks matter? Yes. Does that mean a person who isn't conventionally beautiful or sexy looking is out of luck? No.

I hope you find what (and who) you are looking for.

Yeah, there are people out there who are interested in good women, myself included. A good looking one would be nice but a good woman is far more important. We are all aging and very few if any people stay at all good looking.

Online information and interactions are like a coin flip I find. Some are good and some are bad. Some give you good information and some give bad information. My experience (and this just my experience as a single man and a single point of data) if you sound strange, if you have critical opinions no matter how true they are if they are critical and can be harsh to some or you are mentally disabled in any fashion, only 1 in 2000 women are going to care about you at all. Even if the your opinions are not about women. You just get ignored as if your life doesn’t matter or is offensive. Also few if any woman who say they are interested aren’t or aren’t actually women.

Loyalty is good that is something I look for in even just a friend. I picked my last girlfriend because when we were just friends she showed my great loyalty. Warmth is great. I try to develop emotional connection with my girlfriend. What safety? I look for a relationship to have a feeling of real safety. What about being authentic and one’s best self. I look for a relationship to help me be my best authentic self and help her do the same. What about a brighter better world? One of the most important things to me is a woman who wants to help me try to build a better a better future.

Yeah I want to find something genuine too.

Why not all men? Why just men over 50? That’s like me asking only for 20 year olds with large hips and even larger breasts who are really smart, multi ethnic and rich. My experience is people how say they “Know what they are worth” tend to overestimate themselves and underestimate others. You and I are in the same boat in that are value is not prime by society’s standards. You are to old to be worth an old man and I am to young to be worth a young woman.

I am only 45 currently, but even at my age, speaking for myself, I want depth, kindness and honesty. I certainly want a woman who brings everything to the table. I would be bringing my whole heart to the table in a relationship and I don't think any relationship could move forward if I didn't feel that from the woman.

This is one thing about online dating, I think its amazing to be able to meet people like this, it can open up the world, but any online meeting needs to be followed up with an in-person meeting as soon as possible if both parties are interested.

There is so much about that in-person meeting, so many nuances, so many subtleties, so many just gut reactions that you can only get in person. A person online can act and make you think anything about them, when all you have is their words to go on.

In person its much harder to hide or fake things. In person is how you can you take in the whole person, their looks, their attitude, their personality. Thats how you really get to know someone.

There are every kind of people here. Many of us older man do need a good friend and companion too. But may see many just to take advantage of situation. So you can’t generalize with some bad experience. It needs patience and need to invest time to know other person.
Good luck.

I value all of that.

As for looks: one cannot necessarily control aging. Nothing to be ashamed of. I am an old man and am not handsome. I never was. And I have health problems, and body parts are malfunctioning. It is what it is. Some of it is my fault, I did not take good enough care of myself. Some is just bad luck.

Of course, one can practice good hygiene, take care of one's hair, dress well, exercise. But I am not good at any of that, and never worried much about it, so would not expect it of others. Other than perhaps showering and not stinking, LOL!

Actually, I prefer unscented people. Some women and even some men overdo it when it comes to fragrances. They should not make me gag. Also, I do not find makeup attractive. I just think of all those oils and creams and hope none of them touch my skin! Yuck. So I hope if I ever meet a lady she kisses me without lipstick! I do not want that stuff on me!

What worries me more is personality: if she wants me to change too much, nags me, etc., then she should look elsewhere. I am what I am and she should be who she is. Of course she and I can meet in the middle. Yet it has to natural, nice, and fun.

I do not deny I am attracted to young women. I am a male of the species. That is how I am wired. But lust is separate from love, at least to me.

But what do I know? I have been single all my life.

I personally look deeper than just about looks. I have dated women that were beautiful, (one was a model,) but she had no substance. She was very intelligent, but also had some severe problems,(alcoholism.)
I have also dated women that most guys would ask, :How can you date someone that is so homely looking?" Which I have found to be more genuine, honest, trustworthy, loving, caring, etc.
That being said, even though their is a certain look that I find very attractive, I do not go on just looks alone. Never have.

If there are women on the lookout, there would sure be Men on the lookout too. Everyone goes through hard things and grow. But when it comes to negotiations in a relationship, it is not easy. Women are so used to expecting from young age, they never offer. Matured men do not go for outer beauty, but look for inner beauty. Online is a great platform for anyone to share their inner beauty. It has become so difficult for even two people to meet and talk as everyone has commitments. But most insist on meeting and dating, and lose out on communication.

Men over 50 want women who are adaptable, and not hard pressed. So first thing you need to do is to communicate. Talk to people you meet. There are so many men above 50 here.. just talk to them openly to understand them. Maintain relationship with as many through PM. That's the best way to get to their inner circle.

I have two friends who are over 50 and recently married for the second time. One was a widower and the other was divorced. The wonderful ladies they married would not be considered physically beautiful by most men, but their new husbands love them deeply.

Yes I'm one but since my last experience in relationships when bad I am almost always fully enclosed by ' safety fencing' and feel it's almost impossible to be confident to open up again expecting to just be used and abused. My 7 yo daughter comes first. Any potential dating and romance second. I don't meet the requirements of the 666-rule physically or financially.

Absolutely there are men that value a woman more for whats inside than outside. The outside will always change for all of us. Whats on the inside, while it may get tweaked/ refined over time, is what makes a person. Personally, I link sexy with more as whats on the inside than the outside. A gorgeous woman with a shallow character is not sexy to me. Just my 5 cents.

Emmasfriend is right love is a intellectual property of your mind the people that love the most and would be a good catch lovingly and sexually along with daily living knows that true love and lovemaking is all in you head, mentally and psychologically...

The. Mind is the greatest sex organ, and the best way to a loving relationship....

Yes men over 50 and ones like me almost 80 are still looking for that one and only to be with romantically and even sexually....

I'll make this one shorter. If a man chooses a woman on looks alone, he shallow. There's so much more to women and love. They're best bet would be to choose someone whom they can respect and each are very compatible, when it comes to honesty, good communication, respect for each other, faithfulness, and are not in a hurry to rush into a relationship but take their time and really get to know each other. These are the basics and if those are not met, there's no relationship. Just lust. People have to decide whether they are in love or in lust and there's a big difference. Never marry someone you can't feel respect for or who cannot be honest with you. Playing games are for high school kids who don't know any better.

When you date someone you put your best foot forward and expect the other to do so the same sometimes expections remain high while delivery crumbled as pretenses make up kits can't make up for habits character which are essential for long run.looks are indeed just skin deep.

I have always valued kindness, honesty, loyalty, and a willingness to always learn from life.

As we know, those qualities can be in short supply.

So I keep searching.

Well, I’m not looking, but I would apply an appearance filter as a result, if that makes sense? By that I mean that someone appears “good”, “beautiful”, or “attractive” because of other qualities, and without those other qualities there is really no point in assessing their appearance.

Your “over 50” pivot point is interesting because it’s about that point when we men have gathered enough life experience to adjust our score card to align with what’s really important and filter out what’s superficial.

I never when on looks alone. And would not do that now. Married 27 years three grown children 4 grandchildren all living at home.

Dating prospects at our age are pretty bleak. So many men just want to dump their load and nothing more.

I myself have not dated in six years, I do think though at our age, at least we can enjoy a partner's company without the s*lly pressures of marriage, trying to appease our families, have kids, dreams that won't come true, etc.

You remember in our teens and 20's how the entire world disapproved of who we chose to love. Today, people just leave us alone.

Be careful though with online dating because there are a TON of scammers out there just waiting to prey on lonely people.

Like these men with foreign accents who claim to be working on an oil rig or a soldier stationed in California. Eventually they start asking for money because their daughter is in the hospital or they are being held hostage at customs or whatever.

AND - lately there are probably tons of AI profiles, so the person exists only on a computer IF they exist at all.

As I have aged, the qualities you speak of have become more important. Sure, any man would want an attractive woman. But that attractiveness also includes what's inside - character, ability to love, family orientation, friendship, communication.

Yes.

And one can want all of that and still also want some level of "looks".

If people are demanding that you look like a 20-yr-old, they are delusional. But if all of those things are important, shouldn't your health also be in the mix--do you want all that amazingness to find another, just to suddenly cease to be here?

There are men & women who are into looks (and other things) not just online
You've just have to find the right fit for you & not worry about other people

It’s all about that special connection for me. I can’t deal with apps like tinder, based on looks alone.

I am not looking, still happily married, but I do know of men who are are lonely. They are not looking for playboy models.

I feel men over 50 want young women or women who are mothers. They don't really want to invest in a relationship. They just want the good parts.

I tend to get a lot of men over 50 who are married messaging me. When the conversation continues for more than an hour, they always say the same thing:

"My wife is no longer interested in sex, so I talk to other women".

When I ask why, they say they truly don't know why.

I do. They are emotionally detached and don't provide the emotional safe harbor she needs.

This is why I don't talk with married men online. Because I need an emotionally safe harbor more than I need sex and I won't find it with these men.

What is between someone's ears is what attracts me.

If it is an attribute also sought by a potential lover, we might 'click'.

One advantage of a site like this is that one can have a conversation or nine before deciding to reveal one's face. [My avatar is not me !]

Yes.. there are still men with deeper values out there.. there’s a lot of shallow selfish people out there too so you just have to take your time.. to find someone genuine

It's far more important to be treated right then looks.

I'm not in the market, but if I was looks would be low on the list of things I would be looking for.

Yes and no, i want a good woman but would rather be alone than have all the drama.

Whole heart and cookies 🍪 🍪 🙌😀

For some, sure. I know them in real life.

On here, the answer is.. look at the posts and comments that are women selfies, nude or body parts of women and it proves them out. *smh*

Not me
Never

Answer: YES!

That program is being edited, mistake not resetting

Its the person's soul that counts.
Not their looks. ☺