Looking Beyond Looks..Is It Still Possible?

"A question for the men here (especially over 50)..."

I’ve been wondering lately—
Are there still men out there who are genuinely looking for a good woman... not just a good-looking one?

It feels like so much of online dating is about appearances, especially as we get older. But what about character? Loyalty? Warmth? Emotional connection?

I’m not in my 20s, but I know my worth. I’ve lived, I’ve loved, I’ve been through some hard things—and I’ve grown. I still believe in companionship, in real connection, in sharing life with someone who sees you for who you are, not just how you look.

So I’m curious—do men over 50 still value that? Are there still men out there who want depth, kindness, honesty… and a woman who brings her whole heart to the table?

I’d love to hear your thoughts—men or women.

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FoxyQueen · 51-55, F

I feel men over 50 want young women or women who are mothers. They don't really want to invest in a relationship. They just want the good parts.

I tend to get a lot of men over 50 who are married messaging me. When the conversation continues for more than an hour, they always say the same thing:

"My wife is no longer interested in sex, so I talk to other women".

When I ask why, they say they truly don't know why.

I do. They are emotionally detached and don't provide the emotional safe harbor she needs.

This is why I don't talk with married men online. Because I need an emotionally safe harbor more than I need sex and I won't find it with these men.

peterlee · M

@FoxyQueen How do you know your single guys are not lying?

I’m on here to see the reactions to my paintings, discuss art, books, gardens, social issues.One guy saw this and said I must be gay! Lots of very strange people on here indeed.

FoxyQueen · 51-55, F

@peterlee They may be. 🤷‍♀ that's on them if they can't deal with their reality that they need to lie to strangers. They are adults. Who are they afraid of by lying?

peterlee · M

@FoxyQueen Their inner selves,,their regrets, not realising who they are with, and the value that person has.

FoxyQueen · 51-55, F

@peterlee That's pretty thoughtless of them to bring in a completely innocent person into their lies without that person's consent.

peterlee · M

@FoxyQueen I don’t envy you in your search. But in my experience you find someone when you are not looking.

FoxyQueen · 51-55, F

@peterlee Lol! I haven't been looking for a long while. It's all good though. I won't change my standards, which chases pretty much everyone off.