Looking Beyond Looks..Is It Still Possible?

I've got an excellent partner. We've been through a lot. Four kids, all grown, gone and professionally successful.

Anyone who judges a woman (or man) on looks alone will fail. A permanent partner is the goal. Love, respect, communication and a sense of humor help a lot.

I will try to give you an honest and self-aware answer.

Looks have often been part of what gets me interested in a person - whether as a potential lover or as a friend.

Looks become less important as a connection deepens and a relationship continues. My appreciation for the person grows to include all kinds of things about them that I didn't even know about before.

Since you are looking for a boyfriend, I will mention that smart men know that being good in bed has little to do with looks.

However, looks are part of who a person is and how they express themselves. Someone who lives an active life and/or has an exercise routine will probably look better (to most people, anyway) than someone who is out of shape because of being sedentary. Someone with an expressive face and a nice smile (which does not require perfect teeth!), will look better than someone who is glum or bored looking all the time.

And regardless of a person's face and physique, how they dress can make a huge difference. A colourful or creative or stylish way of dressing (which may or may not include makeup, and jewellery) is a huge part of a person's looks, and expresses an interesting personality.

Do men only care about looks? No. Do looks matter? Yes. Does that mean a person who isn't conventionally beautiful or sexy looking is out of luck? No.

I hope you find what (and who) you are looking for.

I value all of that.

As for looks: one cannot necessarily control aging. Nothing to be ashamed of. I am an old man and am not handsome. I never was. And I have health problems, and body parts are malfunctioning. It is what it is. Some of it is my fault, I did not take good enough care of myself. Some is just bad luck.

Of course, one can practice good hygiene, take care of one's hair, dress well, exercise. But I am not good at any of that, and never worried much about it, so would not expect it of others. Other than perhaps showering and not stinking, LOL!

Actually, I prefer unscented people. Some women and even some men overdo it when it comes to fragrances. They should not make me gag. Also, I do not find makeup attractive. I just think of all those oils and creams and hope none of them touch my skin! Yuck. So I hope if I ever meet a lady she kisses me without lipstick! I do not want that stuff on me!

What worries me more is personality: if she wants me to change too much, nags me, etc., then she should look elsewhere. I am what I am and she should be who she is. Of course she and I can meet in the middle. Yet it has to natural, nice, and fun.

I do not deny I am attracted to young women. I am a male of the species. That is how I am wired. But lust is separate from love, at least to me.

But what do I know? I have been single all my life.

If there are women on the lookout, there would sure be Men on the lookout too. Everyone goes through hard things and grow. But when it comes to negotiations in a relationship, it is not easy. Women are so used to expecting from young age, they never offer. Matured men do not go for outer beauty, but look for inner beauty. Online is a great platform for anyone to share their inner beauty. It has become so difficult for even two people to meet and talk as everyone has commitments. But most insist on meeting and dating, and lose out on communication.

Men over 50 want women who are adaptable, and not hard pressed. So first thing you need to do is to communicate. Talk to people you meet. There are so many men above 50 here.. just talk to them openly to understand them. Maintain relationship with as many through PM. That's the best way to get to their inner circle.

I have two friends who are over 50 and recently married for the second time. One was a widower and the other was divorced. The wonderful ladies they married would not be considered physically beautiful by most men, but their new husbands love them deeply.

Absolutely there are men that value a woman more for whats inside than outside. The outside will always change for all of us. Whats on the inside, while it may get tweaked/ refined over time, is what makes a person. Personally, I link sexy with more as whats on the inside than the outside. A gorgeous woman with a shallow character is not sexy to me. Just my 5 cents.

I never when on looks alone. And would not do that now. Married 27 years three grown children 4 grandchildren all living at home.

I am not looking, still happily married, but I do know of men who are are lonely. They are not looking for playboy models.

In my experience, it is 100% about looks with men. They are always looking out for the newer, shinier woman, even when they already have a good woman.

It's far more important to be treated right then looks.

Yes and no, i want a good woman but would rather be alone than have all the drama.

Not me
Never

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