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wtfgirl001
31-35, F
United States
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All out of life boats
I stepped away from the relationship a few weeks ago. I don't even feel like typing out the full reason why anymore to catch you up on why. It just feels like a waste of time now. Ultimately, I told him I needed time to continue working on myself....
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Crazy, stupid, love
So... we (AJ and I) have had some ups and downs during this adjustment period. The start of our relationship was hot and heavy, and I think he was just looking out for me in slowing that down. During that period, I took his physical distance as a...
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Ghost of Christmas Past
Oh my god, this is always how it goes. It's been several months since I've spoken to N.D. (the 40-something year old guy) and always around Christmas he messages me and tried to re-ignite something. Last year we hadn't talked for nearly half a year,...
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Learning more about each other
I met AJ's family this week. They were very warm and funny. I always tend to biff first impressions, so I didn't talk a lot and mainly smiled while trying to not to eat my meal in a displeasing manner. So basically ended up shuffling the food this...
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Closing the space between us
I really want to say that I love him, but I'm holding off. That's what it feels like in my heart, but I am going to listen to the logical part of my brain and remember that I dont truly know him yet. Is it possible to love someone you don't know?...
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When you love a stranger
... So I've been visiting with some of my girlfriends recently, and oh my god, it is so revitalizing! I don't know why I allowed myself to become an island for so long. Well, in the midst of this... I become curious about the guy that I was seeing......
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I have decided to say yes to myself today
I am reconnecting with the person that I want to be. Getting my house in order (literally cleaning, lol). Working out, and I reached out to some positive friends, because I've decided to be more discerning about who I allow into my life. I tended to...
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If you are leaving a toxic relationship...
Is it better to let them know you are done or just stop answering their calls? Everytime I begin to heal, it's like he knows and tries to call or text me. Then the call isn't even about anything. No apology. Just trying to act like nothing happened...
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Finding Thanks in Heartache
In order for me to move on, I cannot feel resentment. Resentment will not allow me to have my heart open and in the right place to receive positive relationships that may be out there for me. Although I don't need to tell the person (AJ) that I...
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Working on Loving Myself
Just getting back from my trip. I had to leave town to refresh my mind and spirit. I am feeling rejuvenated and ready to become more present in my life once again. I have to be honest with myself. I still have a lot of work to do on myself. I need...
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Does everyone deserve a second chance?
This guy messaged and called me last night, and I feel indifferent about it. It used to make me so excited when my phone would light up and I would smile at the sight of a message from him, but now he's broken my heart and I've allowed my feelings...
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Timing is everything
He told me that he wished he knew me earlier, before his heart was broken so many times that it became hard for him to love again. While he was holding me one night, he looked into my eyes with such admiration, mixed with what seemed to be a tinge...
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At least I didn't drag it out this time
It sucks to do the right thing sometimes.
There's still space in my heart for him
We talked last night. I had been feeling unsure in the relationship, so I took a step back to have some time to think. He had messaged me 3 times that day. Once in the morning, once in the afternoon, and once in the evening. When I didn't answer, he...
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Protecting My Peace
I'm starting to feel a bit more like myself... like, my OLD self, way back when I was 21 and the world was a bit brighter. I think in everything that has happened in my life it has taken me down a lot of roads in the healing process. When I was 22,...
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Focusing on Myself
I just had an amazing day today. I focused on myself and let the anxiety from my current situationship fade away. I cleaned the house, completed a workout, took a hot bath and put on a facial mask, and called my family members on the phone. It felt...
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Pulling the breaks
I'm becoming so much more aware of myself. I really don't know how else to describe it, but I am finally beginning to notice my pitfalls in the moment, and I am correcting them just as fast. If something doesn't feel right to me in a relationship,...
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Okay, last post for the night
This is the goodnight song he texted me tonight:
Question to the guys
Do you enjoy when your date shows a little skin when you take them out, or does it make you embarrassed?
Another wonderful day!
Whew... day 2 down of the breakup. Or something like that. I've realized that I'm not even sad about missing out on him, but more sad about the idea of having went through yet ANOTHER rejection. Even though I am the one who formally ended it, he had...
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Positive Changes
Feeling much better today. I initially didn't want to go to work. I thought about calling in sick, but then decided that I'm not going to let my mood dictate my day. I took my time to get ready in a way that I felt pleased about my appearance amd...
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A little rant. ...Might delete later.
It's really late right now. Well, not really late. 11:23pm. And I want to message him, so I figure I'll write another post here instead. I'm just irritated that he seemed to check out at the end of the relationship. I hate that feeling of not being...
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Sunk costs
I'm sitting here depressed today... I knew it would kick in eventually. Even though logically, I'm happy. Logically, I know that breaking up was for the best, I guess that illogical side of me still has to process it. I've had a productive day...
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It was a life-shaping experience
I'm doing well. It's strange how everytime right after I breakup with someone I get like 3-5 exes reaching out to me through text or social media. Dead silence from suitors while I'm in a relationship... but then suddenly, it's like they can smell...
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It is over
So, after 4 years of an on and off again relationship... I broke up with him today. Via text. He didn't reply, and I don't think he ever will. That's kind of in his nature. It's sad that I've gotten so used to it, it doesn't bother me any more. And...
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