Finding Thanks in Heartache
In order for me to move on, I cannot feel resentment. Resentment will not allow me to have my heart open and in the right place to receive positive relationships that may be out there for me.
Although I don't need to tell the person (AJ) that I forgive him, I do. He was only acting in the capacity that he could in that moment. I don't know his whole life story, but i know that he was acting in the way that he felt was right. I am not going to fault him just because his actions were not what I would prefer. I can only control my own actions. I made some mistakes. I didn't protect my heart. That is not his fault.
As much as I would've liked him to be a protector for me, it wasn't meant to be. Perhaps he's not in that place right now, or perhaps he just doesn't desire to be that way for me. That is fine too.
I am thankful for growth. I am thankful for some beautiful moments in the relationship. He showed me a little glimmer of what I would like to continue to experience. I am thankful for passion. It felt great to feel alive and that rush of a new relationship. I am grateful for pain. I am happy to know that I am capable of loving and feeling deeply. I am happy to know that I am willing to take risks and put myself out there for something that I want.
I am thankful for remembering that the destination isn't everything. Each of these little heartbreaks are also beautiful gifts in themselves.
I am not broken.
I am still loveable.
I am still worthy.
Although I don't need to tell the person (AJ) that I forgive him, I do. He was only acting in the capacity that he could in that moment. I don't know his whole life story, but i know that he was acting in the way that he felt was right. I am not going to fault him just because his actions were not what I would prefer. I can only control my own actions. I made some mistakes. I didn't protect my heart. That is not his fault.
As much as I would've liked him to be a protector for me, it wasn't meant to be. Perhaps he's not in that place right now, or perhaps he just doesn't desire to be that way for me. That is fine too.
I am thankful for growth. I am thankful for some beautiful moments in the relationship. He showed me a little glimmer of what I would like to continue to experience. I am thankful for passion. It felt great to feel alive and that rush of a new relationship. I am grateful for pain. I am happy to know that I am capable of loving and feeling deeply. I am happy to know that I am willing to take risks and put myself out there for something that I want.
I am thankful for remembering that the destination isn't everything. Each of these little heartbreaks are also beautiful gifts in themselves.
I am not broken.
I am still loveable.
I am still worthy.
31-35, F
