A new awakening
I'm so grateful for today. Back on the workout train, took a quick break, but haven't given up.
Thought about my ex today, but I didnt call. I did a gratitude exercise, and thought about the things that I was able to experience with him, and felt the gratitude for that. I am making a conscious effort to focus on the benefits and what I learned instead of the hurt. ... I learned so much.
And I don't want to blame.
It only helped me learn more about my self-worth, and that I can't rely on everyone to treat me how I want to be treated. I have to protect myself.
I never knew that before.
I have been hurt MANY times, but I always continued to enter relationships with an open heart. Perhaps that was a part of why my pattern continued to repeat itself, because I have learned that not everyone deserves that open heart, and I shouldn't lead with that. I need to become more patient and discerning with love. It never sunk in until AJ. So I appreciate him for that, and a part of me will always hope that he is okay too.
For now, I'm continuing to focus on myself. The weather is becoming nicer and I do feel the pangs and desire for companionship at times, and I have recieved messages so it would be easy, but trying to break old patterns and focus on myself now.
As corny as it might sound, I am having an awakening. Lol.
Thought about my ex today, but I didnt call. I did a gratitude exercise, and thought about the things that I was able to experience with him, and felt the gratitude for that. I am making a conscious effort to focus on the benefits and what I learned instead of the hurt. ... I learned so much.
And I don't want to blame.
It only helped me learn more about my self-worth, and that I can't rely on everyone to treat me how I want to be treated. I have to protect myself.
I never knew that before.
I have been hurt MANY times, but I always continued to enter relationships with an open heart. Perhaps that was a part of why my pattern continued to repeat itself, because I have learned that not everyone deserves that open heart, and I shouldn't lead with that. I need to become more patient and discerning with love. It never sunk in until AJ. So I appreciate him for that, and a part of me will always hope that he is okay too.
For now, I'm continuing to focus on myself. The weather is becoming nicer and I do feel the pangs and desire for companionship at times, and I have recieved messages so it would be easy, but trying to break old patterns and focus on myself now.
As corny as it might sound, I am having an awakening. Lol.
31-35, F
