Emotional Dilemma PINNEDI've been with my girlfriend now for over six years, my longest relationship ever. We've had our ups and downs, some of which I've documented here. Neither of us are perfect, but medication she was taking for Rheumatoid Arthritis made her highly... See More »
More On Job Transitions PINNEDI recently spoke about stepping down from my administrative tasks at the company I'm a personal trainer for. I was burnt out from MASSIVE overload and honestly, I think I'm starting to emotionally check out. I no longer wish to eat, breathe and... See More »
Transitions and The Fears They BringI'd been in financial peril ever since I returned to work post-tumor surgery. I work as a personal trainer for a company that travels to people's homes and offices and I until today was in charge of sales. To supplement my income I'd gotten a... See More »
I'm At a CrossroadsIt was November when I had surgery to remove a Pituitary Adenoma from my brain. It was destroying me from the inside, gave me debilitating migraines, and had the potential to blind me. While I was recovering I was unable to work, as that involved... See More »
Alive AgainThat's how I feel this week. After not being in a gym since September, courtesy of tumor-induced migraines, I made my comeback on Monday morning at 4am. It was absolutely EMOTIONAL. I actually embraced my friend behind the counter and I cried in... See More »
Can It Get Any Worse?Really! I've been planting seeds and trying to rebuild my life post surgery because as I feared, everything literally fell apart while I was in recovery. Personal training clients either went away or decided they liked the guy replacing me better.... See More »
Update From My Last Post!I figured I should let this be known since my last post regarding loving the effects of Benadryl appeared to genuinely concern a few people. As of last night I am sleeping again WITHOUT the assistance Benadryl. My cough has dissipated enough at... See More »
Benadryl, My Unexpected New Friend.Since I've gone back to work following surgery, things have been slow. The GoFundMe money my ex put together is all gone as of a few days ago because of bills. And not all of my clients chose to come back, one guy straight up leaving me for the... See More »
Recovery from Surgery, PT. 2What a long journey it has been. It's now been eight weeks since I had a Pituitary Adenoma removed from my brain. It's been two weeks since my neurosurgeon medically cleared me to drive again and do most activities. In between those two times I... See More »
I'm in a panic!I literally can't think! My head feels stuck, it's FELT STUCK for weeks. I don't blame my recent brain surgery either. I'm at loss as to what to get my amazing girlfriend for Christmas, who has done SO MUCH for me in the last month plus while I've... See More »
Can I See You? Please?It's been over a year since I buried you. It's still traumatic to me. I never got to say goodbye and tell you what you meant to me in my life. But there might be hope(?). I go for surgery tomorrow to remove a pituitary tumor. I'll clearly be... See More »
A Beautiful Vacation...A Much Needed ResetIt's been over a week since I returned from a beautiful trip out west with my girlfriend, with whom I'd just patched things up. The trip, that was LARGELY orchestrated by her, was centered around exploring Roadside Americana all over the Lincoln... See More »
We Spoke Last NightWe finally spoke last night. We were on the phone for over an hour and a half sorting through everything. I was right to assume my girlfriend wasn't speaking to me because after our last weekend together she, in a nutshell, was pissed off and... See More »
The Ball Is In Her CourtSo, after not hearing from my girlfriend in nearly two weeks, and being that I owe her money, I was finally able to at least get the ball rolling with paying her off this morning. After I Zelle'd her the money I texted her simply to notify her that... See More »
More Thoughts on My Anxiety Over the End of my World As I Knew ItI wrote about the possibility of my relationship ending, my girlfriend having not spoken to me since last Monday. The anxiety is getting worse to the point that it's absolutely affecting me physically. As I wrote on here two days ago, I owe her a... See More »
I Think It's OverI haven't written about my relationship with my girlfriend in a long time. I didn't want to be overly redundant, and since she stopped taking a particular medication that absolutely inflamed her insides, turning her into a very edgy person, things... See More »
I Tracked Down a Long-Lost FriendNot just any long-lost friend. I tracked down the very first friend I ever made in school. I was three. I was in special education for several years, starting here and he happened to be physically handicapped, relying on a walker at such a young... See More »
So, this is how it feels to be a phone salesman, huh?The title says it all. My boss invited me to help him with phone sales to gain more clients and increase our revenue. I'm two weeks in and I've never been hung up on as many times as I have until today. I've made fifteen calls, and most of those... See More »
Fear of Losing my RefugeSince I last wrote in here, I've begun to make money again. But unfortunately, there is a stark difference between making and HAVING money. And over the last two months I've struggled to pay my rent because of other things that arose. My landlord... See More »
Drowning and I can't Swim UpI don't know where to begin. I have no care in the world, and I don't even have the motivation to type. I'm tired all the time. I'm so broke I could only pay half of my rent this past week and owe my landlord the other half this Friday. I feel... See More »
A Peaceful WeekendI went to the beach by myself this past Saturday. I originally wanted to go with the girlfriend, who's been quite irritable as of late, but she made it clear on Wednesday that she wouldn't be available thanks to multiple office-related obligations.... See More »
Reflections, Pt.1For as long as I can remember, I've thought daily about the last nearly six years and the events that led me to where I am today. In six years, doors closed, my foundation was shaken, and new opportunities and relationships arose. It was October,... See More »
Medication Side EffectsSome of the side effects of the drug I'm currently on to tackle my brain tumor include depression and fatigue. I'm experiencing plenty of fatigue. I have so much work to do before 3 pm and I'm disassociating within a minute or two of performing a... See More »
Mending FencesA little bit of happy news for once. I took a huge step towards mending fences on Friday, one I never thought I'd take. I'd been trying to find the number to the current chief engineer of my former college radio station for four years. Every time... See More »
No desire, no ambitionSo much to accomplish, so little focus. So little concern. I'm sitting here with my laptop, over an hour to kill before I train my last client of the day. I "intended" to update client master sheets for my boss (I'm a personal trainer) so I can be... See More »
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