Upset
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Drowning and I can't Swim Up

I don't know where to begin. I have no care in the world, and I don't even have the motivation to type. I'm tired all the time. I'm so broke I could only pay half of my rent this past week and owe my landlord the other half this Friday. I feel alone and neglected, in desperate need of touch. I'm behind on work to the point that I told my girlfriend that I wasn't seeing her this past weekend so that I could catch up. Even then, I took too many breaks and barely got half of my paperwork dealt with.

As I type this, I've spent the last three hours in a library in a town 45 minutes away from my house so I could focus on my work in between my clients. It took a long time to get moving, but my tendency to disassociate was too strong. I have more work to do and 45 minutes to get it done and I don't want to. I think I'm finally at my wit's end with my job. Just went it appears as if I'm about to make more money than I have all year, there's another roadblock. And I absolutely suck at marketing my own business, which also hit a roadblock when my first new client in years put it on hold as we were about to begin because she's now unemployed.
AngelUnforgiven · 46-50, F
Im very sorry to hear what you are going through. But you have to keep moving. Push yourself! I know that it may seem hard to but i promise you there's someone else out there doing worse and would gladly trade their life for yours. We all have roadblocks. Its called life. Don't push your girlfriend away. Allow her to help you. You can do anything that you put your mind to. Its true, i promise you this won't last forever.
When I'm like that, I find it best to force myself to start working, with the goal of just one task at a time. After a while, the jobs get done and then there's a sense of relief.

Maybe no just now, but later when you have free time, brainstorm a list of ways to solve your situation. Might help kickstart a few ideas.

 
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