Struggling to understand the full mechanics of forgiving people: would like outside opinions.

Love is the key, we must forgive or love is suffocated in our hearts, paving way to bitterness and hatred. We should forgive so that other persons can also experience that love which all comes from God. We must forgive or we won't be forgiven by our Heavenly Father who created us to love Him and one another, forgiveness is all about love without expectation, and to be truly free unharmed by the arrows dipped in the poison of malice.

No. Not at all. You just still have hurt feelings and scars and hurt feelings brings up the memories. Those will get better as you pray and go along. You're still healing and that's why you're still feeling the hurt. That's different than forgiving. You've already done that so you're good with that. Try to keep your mind off of that so it doesn't hurt so much. You have great hobbies and it would be good to take them up again if you have not done them in a long time. Also I have a favorite movie that you would really love that would take your mind off of things like that if you would like to watch it. It is called Jesus of Nazareth.

To me your forgiveness from god shouldn't be based on what someone else did .That's adding insult to injury . As others have said your god knows what's in you heart. I view forgiveness in a different light , i don't believe my healing depends on me forgiving my abusers it's a choice i make . To me saying i forgive them means that i somehow understand what the did or that it really wasn't that bad .But i don't understand and it was that bad .i had no power during the abuse but i do have power over forgiveness. I'd rather feel like you and be able to forgive, but the child in me still hurts .Edit to add not only did they steal my innocence and childhood they also stold my faith probably the worst crime of all

No, you aren't supposed to forget. Self preservation dictates that you learn and remember valuable lessons. Those you shouldn't and probably can't forget.

My mother was a product of her generation and upbringing. She did some good things and some things that were just awful. I have no doubt she thought she was doing right. I won't forget but I can forgive. She is gone now and I just don't have the room in my head to let her live there now. I keep the lessons if for no other reason than to remind me how not to treat my children.

It all has to do with your thoughts. If you are only thinking good thoughts about that person, then you
have forgiven them.

It sounds like maybe the person took advantage of your good nature. This happens to a lot of people.

Don't let it reflect on you. People are different, accept it and move on. Think happy, good thoughts
all day every day, and happy good things will come your way.

Unfortunately, it works the other way too. Think bad thoughts, and bad things follow. Have you ever
wondered why bad things continuously happen to bad people?

You have to feel the good stuff, and have faith in yourself and the universe. If you think about the good
life all day everyday, it will come to you.

It's kind of like praying, but you don't have to be religious to do it. All religions work within the same
principle. You think ( pray ) about abundance, happiness, etc... Believe that you can have it all,
and it will be brought to you.

Think about failure and loss, and it also will happen. It's a matter of constantly pushing out bad
thoughts and replacing them with good thoughts. Sometimes it's harder than others. You have to
consistently work at it.

No I don't think so. Something are impossible to forget but it doesn't mean you haven't moved on. I think what you're feeling is totally normal

If forgiving/forgetting is not beneficial for either you, them or anyone in this world, don't forgive/forget.

When you think you have forgiven but not able to forget, is that you have not completely forgiven them? The answer is yes, in a way. It should lose its important for you when you truly forgiven, and that helps you release the easily recallable space in your memory. You may have moved forward from it, but you are carrying it with you in your memory. Forgiveness is not for them, it's for you to stop carrying the burden of those experiences along with you in your life ahead. If you recall that experience and tell others about it, even if you don't experience that pain again, you are atleast wasting the time of your life that you could have enjoyed in some other way.

Feelings the guilt and repentance is for the person who did the wrong, forgiving and forgetting is for the victim, punishment is for the society.

You seem like a very descent & fair person, I’m going through a situation with my brother, he fucks his family over and acts like nothing happened. I just except that’s who he is but I don’t forgive him and don’t believe I should as it teaches me to be weary of him and keep my guard up.

It doesn't mean you don't forgive her,
But just that you're trying to deal with the emotional injuries she left.

It's like if someone stomps on your foot,
And then is sorry about it later and you forgive them.

Sure, you forgive them, but you still gotta deal with the pain in your foot

Well in short if you do not forgive you let them win and that should never happen. Life is unfair sometimes you can complain about it or take the high road and move on it all up to you .

https://similarworlds.com/self-improve/change-past-but-change-future/5358768-Forgetting-what-lies-behind-and-moving-forward-to-what-lies

Thought you might like this and it may give you some encouragement.

your a good person,

Making peace with it is a form of forgiveness