Struggling to understand the full mechanics of forgiving people: would like outside opinions.

Not actively angry anymore...Check!
I understand their childhood, their upbringing, and I understand WHY they were the way they were...Check!
If that person were alive today, I would hug them...Check.
WHILE that person was alive I bent over backwards to take awesome care of her...Check!

But I am still struggling to forget. I don't forget all the things she did, and I tell stories about what she did.

Does that mean that on some level, I don't forgive her?

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Cigarguy · M

No I don't think so. Something are impossible to forget but it doesn't mean you haven't moved on. I think what you're feeling is totally normal

4meAndyou · F

@Cigarguy Thank you. I really DO want God to forgive me for my own sins, but He will ONLY forgive ME if I have forgiven everyone else. Sometimes that feels like a tough row to hoe. I feel spiteful at times when I tell stories about my mother...and that can't be good.

Cigarguy · M

@4meAndyou you can't hide or forget your pain or trauma you have but that doesn't mean you don't forgive her. It's to separate things.

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4meAndyou · F

@LadyGrace I am simply afraid that my forgiveness of her is not perfect, and therefore God won't forgive me. The memories are still there.

LadyGrace ·

@4meAndyou Sweetheart. No one knows your heart better than God and he knows you want to forgive her and you have to the best of your ability. That's what matters. It doesn't have to be perfect because we're not perfect and we never will be.