Struggling to understand the full mechanics of forgiving people: would like outside opinions.

Not actively angry anymore...Check!
I understand their childhood, their upbringing, and I understand WHY they were the way they were...Check!
If that person were alive today, I would hug them...Check.
WHILE that person was alive I bent over backwards to take awesome care of her...Check!

But I am still struggling to forget. I don't forget all the things she did, and I tell stories about what she did.

Does that mean that on some level, I don't forgive her?

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Fishy · 36-40, F

It doesn't mean you don't forgive her,
But just that you're trying to deal with the emotional injuries she left.

It's like if someone stomps on your foot,
And then is sorry about it later and you forgive them.

Sure, you forgive them, but you still gotta deal with the pain in your foot

4meAndyou · F

@Fishy That's a great analogy! But...what if they broke a tiny bone in your foot, and you dealt with that, and you forgive them and all, but you still go around telling everyone about it? Isn't that, in a small way...resentment?

Fishy · 36-40, F

@4meAndyou or it could be just be a way of processing it?

4meAndyou · F

@Fishy I like the way you look at things!