Struggling to understand the full mechanics of forgiving people: would like outside opinions.

Not actively angry anymore...Check!
I understand their childhood, their upbringing, and I understand WHY they were the way they were...Check!
If that person were alive today, I would hug them...Check.
WHILE that person was alive I bent over backwards to take awesome care of her...Check!

But I am still struggling to forget. I don't forget all the things she did, and I tell stories about what she did.

Does that mean that on some level, I don't forgive her?

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bowman81 · M

No, you aren't supposed to forget. Self preservation dictates that you learn and remember valuable lessons. Those you shouldn't and probably can't forget.

My mother was a product of her generation and upbringing. She did some good things and some things that were just awful. I have no doubt she thought she was doing right. I won't forget but I can forgive. She is gone now and I just don't have the room in my head to let her live there now. I keep the lessons if for no other reason than to remind me how not to treat my children.

4meAndyou · F

@bowman81 THAT is a wonderful way to look at it.