Struggling to understand the full mechanics of forgiving people: would like outside opinions.

Not actively angry anymore...Check!
I understand their childhood, their upbringing, and I understand WHY they were the way they were...Check!
If that person were alive today, I would hug them...Check.
WHILE that person was alive I bent over backwards to take awesome care of her...Check!

But I am still struggling to forget. I don't forget all the things she did, and I tell stories about what she did.

Does that mean that on some level, I don't forgive her?

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cherokeepatti · 61-69, F

I try to forget but it comes back to me in a dream which is haunting sometimes. I don’t think it means you haven’t forgiven her, it’s more like something triggered the thoughts.

4meAndyou · F

@cherokeepatti Yup. Lately she is in every single dream I have. I am always back at the house where I grew up.

cherokeepatti · 61-69, F

@4meAndyou Has this started since you were sick with the gastro problems?

4meAndyou · F

@cherokeepatti Yes...I didn't realize that...but yes.

cherokeepatti · 61-69, F

@4meAndyou I think you are inflamed. I figured out a long time ago if I have inflammation flaring up in my body that I have nightmares and a lot of times (but not always) it includes people that I have had a hard time with. The most interesting time was when I started dreaming that my neighbor across the street had a house fire. I woke up feeling acid coming up from my stomach into my throat. Lately if I have a nightmare it’s about working at the university but sometimes have different people than I worked with as supervisors. That’s kind of weird.

4meAndyou · F

@cherokeepatti Well, my THREE ulcers certainly did flare up while I was sick. Fortunately, I was prescribed 40 mg omeprazole, and my stomach has never felt better.