Struggling to understand the full mechanics of forgiving people: would like outside opinions.

Not actively angry anymore...Check!
I understand their childhood, their upbringing, and I understand WHY they were the way they were...Check!
If that person were alive today, I would hug them...Check.
WHILE that person was alive I bent over backwards to take awesome care of her...Check!

But I am still struggling to forget. I don't forget all the things she did, and I tell stories about what she did.

Does that mean that on some level, I don't forgive her?

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MentalDisturbance · 36-40

I’m not sure why we’re still t concerned about forgiving people. They meant what they did when they took their actions against us. Why not just understand their intentions behind why they did those things instead and just know they most likely aren’t capable of doing different.

Not all care to try to correct their ways as they don’t see anything wrong with how they are. It’s literally more ingrained in some persons-‘persons’ natures to be more traumatizing by way of psychopathic tendencies. Deeper end of the narcissistic spectrum, sociopathy. The dark triad in psychology explains this better.

You know the saying ‘they know not what they do?’ It’s a biblical statement meaning just that. Only it’s not really true. Basically you know enough to hurt someone and where it hurts them and you get your gratification from that. To fill your own self conceited self constrained and self damaging self interests and your whole century is based off that.

You know and you don’t simultaneously. You know what you did and you don’t know how exactly what you immediately do to yourself regardless of you acknowledging that or not. Or pretending it doesn’t affect you negatively and it absolutely does. The gun you point at there to shoot them you shoot yourself first then them.

The nature of the beast literally won’t have it any other way no matter how convincing it is that you don’t pay for your part in inflicting pain. No matter who you are. Ever. It always immediately impacts you and you’ll get the repercussions of that indefinitely now and later, depending on what degree you take this to. And it can be more damaging then due to the accumulation of all you’ve done.

It could be that those who don’t believe in karma are the very ones are the biggest culprits in making others pay for their delusions and deferring responsibility on to others. But… times are different now, and there is a catch up effect taking place, it’s only going to get more pronounced.