Struggling to understand the full mechanics of forgiving people: would like outside opinions.

Not actively angry anymore...Check!
I understand their childhood, their upbringing, and I understand WHY they were the way they were...Check!
If that person were alive today, I would hug them...Check.
WHILE that person was alive I bent over backwards to take awesome care of her...Check!

But I am still struggling to forget. I don't forget all the things she did, and I tell stories about what she did.

Does that mean that on some level, I don't forgive her?

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kodiac · 22-25, M

To me your forgiveness from god shouldn't be based on what someone else did .That's adding insult to injury . As others have said your god knows what's in you heart. I view forgiveness in a different light , i don't believe my healing depends on me forgiving my abusers it's a choice i make . To me saying i forgive them means that i somehow understand what the did or that it really wasn't that bad .But i don't understand and it was that bad .i had no power during the abuse but i do have power over forgiveness. I'd rather feel like you and be able to forgive, but the child in me still hurts .Edit to add not only did they steal my innocence and childhood they also stold my faith probably the worst crime of all

4meAndyou · F

@kodiac You probably won't believe this, but I actually THOUGHT about you, and how you could manage with your own history. I can't even imagine. The only thing I can even think of that MIGHT help is to pray and ask God what you should do.

kodiac · 22-25, M

@4meAndyou I do believe because that's the person i know you to be . I added a bit to my response ,the worst part of the crimes against me was destroying my faith in god as i knew it to be . I understand i was weak and shouldn't have forsaken him ,but i was a child of god ,i actually lived in the church, i was an alter boy ,i lay on they cold floor being mercilessly abused and there was the face of Jesus watching from on the wall. I think you're forgiven ajd it shows in the person you became

4meAndyou · F

@kodiac You poor, poor kid. You were actually assaulted by the embodiment of evil. You turned against God because no one saved you from the evil.

Understanding God is almost impossible. But I do know this...God allowed the devil to have dominion over the earth and all earthly things after Adam and Eve disobeyed Him.

Therefore evil things can happen.

God's promise to us, is that He will send His comforter to comfort us in our despair...the Holy Spirit.

If you open your heart to the light, the evil will no longer have any power over you.

kodiac · 22-25, M

@4meAndyou Thank you

Lushiro · M

@kodiac Jesus loves you beyond human literation. He would relive His Incarnation and endure the entirety of His Sufferings an unlimited amount of times in order to save you, without hesitation, for you alone if the Father would permitted. He would recreate the universe all over again just to hear you say that you love Him.