Crimsondrops | SimilarWorlds

I wish I was normal

I'm so worn out because i had multiple panic attacks yesterday. I'm just tired of being beaten down by depression, anxiety and having a panic disorder and borderline personality disorder. I wish I could just be normal.

Apparently I'm rude to doordashers at my job. No not really

First of all half of them don't even speak to me they come in and stare and say nothing and I'm supposed to read minds as to what they want. For all i know they are waiting on a mobile order or don't know where to order. Second off if they don't... See More »

Have you ever tried to commit suicide?

Once years ago I tried but got scared last second and stopped my car from hitting the wall I was going to drive into. This was I think 2012/2013? I've been considering doing it again. I've been resiting a strong urge to walk into traffic for the... See More »

Is it bad that everytime a customer approaches me with a question I always assume something is wrong?

A lady approached not long after I made her drink and asked me what song was playing. It was some taylor swift song and I don't really know her music well as she's someone I don't go out of my way to listen to. Anyways before she even asked her... See More »

I kind of went on a rant at work and offended some lady. Honestly? I'm too burnt out to care.

Today was extremely overwhelming and I am running on 3 hours of sleep if that. I was drowning in orders and was ranting to my coworker next to me also drowning in orders about how I'm going as fast as I can and I'm frustrated that my best just isn't... See More »

When your anxiety is out of control and you can't afford to do anything about it. Yay no sleep for me.

No sleep, palpitations, a jacked up heart rate for no reason and feeling lightheaded and cold. Oh it's such fun. I love sitting on the couch trying to decide if I'm actually dying or not.

I just can't do it anymore I wanted to claw my face apart at work due to stress and being overwhelmed.

My anxiety and all my mental health issues are crazy bad lately. I highkey want to see if I can get disability or something because it's not normal to have cried at work 3 times in the past week due to things not in my control.

Should I work at walmart?

Having anxiety is terrible I'm shivering and feeling like I'm going crazy.

Out of nowhere the left side of my jaw tightened, my chest tightened and I felt lightheaded and my heartrate quickened. I'm freezing and feeling shaky. My breathing has gotten better but my jaw still aches and I still am feeling anxious. I've been... See More »

I'm beyond exhausted I barely slept last night. Anyone else wiped?

Brain wouldn't shut off, couldn't get comfortable, kept randomly waking up throughout the night. Dealt with sleep paralysis and had a panic attack ended up being cold and sweaty at the same time. I'm hoping for a better nights rest.

I was fairly certain someone was going to call the police so I did what anyone with common sense would and ran.

Mentally I have been a giant mess this week and it is not getting any better. Ever since that huge meltdown on Tuesday I have been really out of sorts. It's almost like everything negative I have been holding back emotion wise is flooding out because... See More »

I feel physically and mentally strained and out of control. I was extremely out of line today and I feel like a monster.

To start the day I was tired from not sleeping well the night before. Work was stressful due to the closers doing virtually nothing and being swamped the moment we opened the doors. I was overwhelmed and overstimulated from that alone. I learned my... See More »

I hate having a tree nut allergy.

It's severe to the point where if packaged food is processed on the same equipment as treenuts I can and have had anaphylactic reactions. It's worsened with age. I have to read every label. Most baked goods, candy, icecreams and what not I'm unable... See More »

I never tell anyone I have borderline personality disorder.

Why? I don't need people judging me or thinking I'm crazy. I don't need a slew of questions aimed at me either. I don't want to be treated differently or tip toed around. It's just easier to keep it to myself.

What color should I dye my hair?

I was thinking silver or maybe blue.

I feel extra disassociated and out of it today.

I feel out of body right now and have felt this way for the past few hours. Im typing and as I look down I just see these hands. I know they're mine but it;s not registering that they're mine. I feel exhausted, cold, shaky and like at any moment I... See More »

Anyone else cash strapped and losing their mind?

I may look calm but internally I'm screaming and trashing the joint.

I love when customers yell at me for their own shortcomings.

Understaffed no in store orders were being accepted. We were only taking mobile and drive thru orders. Two signs posted at eye level on the door as soon as you come in and another sign posted on the hand off counter. So many people just berating me... See More »

I feel so out of it.

I feel zapped and nauseous. I feel like I'm in the beginning stages of an anxiety attack. Not sure if I'm physically sick or mentally sick.

I just have not been feeling well.

Feeling like flaming hot garbage for days.

Maybe it's a stupid idea for a book or movie

So in the middle of the night I randomly had a great idea or at least I thought it was a great idea for a movie or book. It's essentially about a janitor who lives in squalor in a run down small apartment who is just jaded, bitter and tired. He's... See More »

Is it odd to still go clubbing at 36 years of age?

I'm tempted to go out tomorrow night. I haven't been out in awhile because I've been rather reclusive as of late.

I feel like hot garbage.

Tired,run down, feeling nauseated.....head aches.

I don't feel I'm all that tall.

The average male height is 5'10 and I'm 6'1 approximately 130lbs but I don't feel like I'm all that tall. I believe the average is more like 6'0. Tall to me is 6'3 like my partner he's 6'5. My dad is 6'6 and I have an uncle who is 6'8 he's the... See More »

Yesterday I ended up getting high at the park and stayed there most of the day.

Just didn't want to be home