Today was fun....I had a mental breakdown at a park in my car.

Stress one more thing went wrong in my life and I couldn't take anymore. I screamed and punched my left jaw/cheek about 3 times and just cried. I kept asking what I did wrong in life and why can't I just have one thing go right for me. I just kept screaming and crying and wishing I was dead. I'm just exhausted and tired of stress and being kicked down.

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SStarfish ·

Sorry 🙁 i hope you find a way to be happy and nice to yourself 🙁

Crimsondrops · 36-40, M

@SStarfish I might go clubbing I'm thinking maybe just being around others and listening to music may help some. It's probably better than being holed up in the condo.

SStarfish ·

@Crimsondrops ok 🙂 i know its hard for you but maybe you could try smiling at people? Or is that weird? Ive never been clubbing..

Musicman · 61-69, MVIP

Trust me, you are not the only one experiencing this right now. 😢 If you need to talk we are here for you.

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Crimsondrops · 36-40, M

@Musicman Yeah and there's also a ton of loneliness around this time too because all these gatherings and events when you don't have anyone is tough on people. Luckily I have people but not all do. Plus as we get closer to the end of the year we keep looking back at how it went and it all just hits you.

Musicman · 61-69, MVIP

@Crimsondrops Yes, that all plays a part in it. Would you prefer to talk privately?

NativePortlander1970 ·

@Crimsondrops I want you to listen to this, and read the lyrics while listening, it helped me when I got to my lowest point just before I turned 14 in early 1984.
[media=https://youtu.be/GOFo-lMQDF8]

Steve42 · 56-60, M

completely tolerable. Possibly mandatory.

NativePortlander1970 ·

Then do something to change your life, turn things around in your favor.

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NativePortlander1970 ·

@Crimsondrops Seek counseling first, most clinics offer sliding scale fees for those that might have trouble paying.

Crimsondrops · 36-40, M

@NativePortlander1970 Alright this is probably going to sound insane but full disclosure I don't trust clinics. I have a deep fear of opening up to so called mental health professionals who claim to care and then the moment I reveal I want to end it all they'll ship me off to the crazy ward or force pills upon me to make me a robot an unfeeling robot.

NativePortlander1970 ·

@Crimsondrops You need professional help

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