I was fairly certain someone was going to call the police so I did what anyone with common sense would and ran.
Mentally I have been a giant mess this week and it is not getting any better. Ever since that huge meltdown on Tuesday I have been really out of sorts. It's almost like everything negative I have been holding back emotion wise is flooding out because the lock broke holding it back. I was extremely agitated last night because in the condo community I live in there has been an influx of new people and new cars. I came home late last night from being out with a friend and I couldn't find a place to park anywhere near my place. I circled and circled and found a spot a good distance away from my actual condo and I was not happy. I slammed my car door and said really loudly I love having to park far away when I live right over there and shouted that last part while gesturing to the general direction I live in. I came in and was ranting to my partner about it.
I woke up this morning feeling disconnected from myself and like I was floating on a cloud. I felt very off and out of sorts. I decided to take a walk around the neighborhood and everything that has been bothering me just came to the surface and I got upset. Stress is literally eating me alive and making me very unpleasant and I legitimately feel like a failure in more than one area of my life. I was mumbling to myself negative self talking things, I was wringing my hands, speed walking then slowing down then speeding up again. I looked very distressed was crying, hyperventilating and was clearly unhappy. Some lady saw me and from her porch asked if I was ok and I said yes I am ok lying obviously. She wanted me to stay put so she could grab me water and something in my head told me oh man she's going to call the cops. Not wanting to take chances in case it were anything less than innocent I bolted.
Personally speaking I do not trust the cops. Cops never handle mental health situations well and the person suffering usually gets shot and dies. I'm not trying to make the local news.
I woke up this morning feeling disconnected from myself and like I was floating on a cloud. I felt very off and out of sorts. I decided to take a walk around the neighborhood and everything that has been bothering me just came to the surface and I got upset. Stress is literally eating me alive and making me very unpleasant and I legitimately feel like a failure in more than one area of my life. I was mumbling to myself negative self talking things, I was wringing my hands, speed walking then slowing down then speeding up again. I looked very distressed was crying, hyperventilating and was clearly unhappy. Some lady saw me and from her porch asked if I was ok and I said yes I am ok lying obviously. She wanted me to stay put so she could grab me water and something in my head told me oh man she's going to call the cops. Not wanting to take chances in case it were anything less than innocent I bolted.
Personally speaking I do not trust the cops. Cops never handle mental health situations well and the person suffering usually gets shot and dies. I'm not trying to make the local news.
36-40, M
