Needless to say I did not go clubbing. Tried sleeping instead but I can't even do that right. Thanks panic attack.

I decided against clubbing mainly because I'm tired and didn't feel like trying to get ready. Decided to lay down and rest instead. Woke up sweating to death with chest pain and a racing heartbeat. Took me a minute to calm down enough to make sense of what was going on. Felt a strong urge to cry but couldn't for some reason. I went to the kitchen to get water and swore I saw someone in it which is weird because I'm home alone. It was like the bottom end of a long nightgown I thought I saw.

Now I'm just dealing with post panic attack chills and feeling drained. My partner is staying with his sister because he needs a break from me and I understand. I haven't been great to be around lately and I feel bad for constantly ranting to him. He knows about all my issues as we have been together for a few years now and he is concerned because he's never seen me this bad. Honestly I've never been this bad I've never not been able to pull myself out of the hole and act right. Usually I can get myself back on track but this time is different I fear. I don't know why either. I won't resent him if he leaves me honestly. He doesn't deserve to be dragged down.