Travis the BeagleOn November 26th, I'm getting a beagle puppy and naming him Travis. My partner has voiced several times he thinks it's going to be a disaster and thinks I don't have it in me to be responsible enough to train a pup. That hurts. Sometimes I fear he's... See More »
Just YappinNo amount of journaling or bike rides or promises save me from this void I find myself in lately. Called a hotline and they told me to try yoga- who can blame them? What do you really say to a complete stranger? I'm severely broke this month after... See More »
Just Flushing Things OutI let another white man ruin my dreams because I'm too sensitive and I didn't advocate for myself more often. Now I'm back to feeling the same way I was two years ago. Except this time I have a boss who loves me and is willing to keep me around just... See More »
Just spilling Some BeansMy anxiety is unbearable. My guts and my head hurt to no end. I recently started a different medication to try and help it, but I think it's making me sick. Nausea and shivers, feeling tired, are side effects. Called out of work today because it was... See More »
Haiku MemoriesSipping on birch beer Middle of the night, Summer Just as hot outside Grandeza, warm night Open window on crudo It has not felt the same yet It has not snowed I remember Winter Break Painfully trudging through it
Has This Hit?I've recently started taking anti psychotics. Hate to be the Debby Downer, the bearer of bad news, but I think that means I am psychotic. These pills have honestly helped me feel less psychotic. I don't get scared at night anymore, very rarely do I... See More »
Guilty On A BailoutBoss man pulled me aside today. He is going to put a bonus on the next check to cover quite a bit of the cost to New York. I'm ashamed for not pushing back harder. But I knew I wouldn't win. I was so frazzled, I forgot again to tell him how sorry I... See More »
Lots of Folks Do A Lot WorseAs soon as I get up, right after coming back from getting coffee, and at least once every hour on days I am not working. I currently work in a restaurant owned by a chef whom I've idolized for almost five years now, so being sober is generally only a... See More »
I Am Afraid of the Deep SeaEvery night after school I get into my dorm and I cry and I scream and the past few mornings I have woken up this way. Screaming during my ironing, I kicked the washer door today after I closed it. It could have shattered and not only break the... See More »
I Am InsaneThings are getting worse. This is isn't the first major episode I've had in the past four months, and that's more frequent than ever. I had just laid down in bed and in my dorm I have my pillows against the side of my closet and for whatever reason... See More »
I Love My BossHe is one of my close friends. He's lovely. Yesterday was one of my Sad Days I sometimes have, and so we hadn't spoken much (I just do my thing and keep quiet), and while I was cleaning the flat top at the end of the night he's over by the door to... See More »
I Blah Blah BlahI am so conflicted. And getting to be quite anxious, even scared, about going back to school. Today being August 1st, I now only have 28 days not including tomorrow at work. Then I go back. I was just so sad all day. Everyone is so lovely- they kept... See More »
I Like ReadingRitz & Escoffier The Hottellier, The Chef, and The Rise of the Leisure Class I recently finished reading a biography on César Ritz and Cher Auguste Escoffier and at the end, in the early 1920, or perhaps just before the 20s Ritz had died. From... See More »
I Want To Be A Good CookToday I was messing around with a breakfast menu. Small corn bread rectangles topped with apple and fennel duck confit. Topped with a fresh tomatoes and eggs up on top with a little rose-water hollandaise. Confit is quite special, duck legs braised,... See More »
I Enjoy PeopleToday at work we were Quite busy, steady, constantly moving, for a number of hours for dinner. When it finally broke, I was going to dip out quick for a cigarette, but my boss was already heading out to do the same and so I stopped to turn back... See More »
I Love FoodAll I think about is food, I read all about food, and I cook in a restaurant six days a week. I'm almost finished with Micheal Ruhlman's "The Soul of A Chef" and it is spectacular. I'll read it after work and get all amped up again, and I read it... See More »
I Have a ConfessionI have ants in my room. I can't leave anything anywhere. They are very small but I see them around. If I leave a little bit of a drink left in a cup, they're all over it the next morning, mostly drowned. I don't really mind, if that's weird. They... See More »
I Love My JobBeen there about a week now and I have a habit of always falling in love with where I work, and this time it is no different. Everyone there is so so nice, and the guy who is the chef is also the owner so there is no conflict, no limits on what the... See More »
How do you feel about group-specific word usage?Meaning only gay people can say faggot and only people who are black can say the n-word I think this is fair, and no, it is not opening up the opportunity for others to call you such a thing if you use it. Because it is not their word. Just because I... See More »
I Always Have A CrushJust little ones haha. Very easily growing out of proportion if I allow myself, which with maturity is less likely to happen. Currently the dishwasher I met today, he's all smiles and goofiness. And of course the chef I work for. His English isn't... See More »
I Dont Feel GoodRight now there's a weird feeling of what I believe is guilt and a lot of anxiety. Guilt for what, golly I don't know what specifically or even truly. I'm guilty for anything I might mess up at this job I just started the other day, I go back... See More »
I Like My NameIt isn't Jack Forrester haha. I came up with that for on here, and do go by Jack just because my real name isn't very username-esque and I'm bad at coming up with usernames. When I had webkinz I was really into Pokemon and started learning the guitar... See More »
I Do Not Wear a WatchThe last class I had for the year was Product Identification and Fabrication (naming all the foods and cutting up all the meats) and my Chef was this old giant whom I loved. 6'5" with a huge head, hands, and nose. He was big everywhere. He was also... See More »
Do you believe in the subjectivity of reality?Our brains cannot see, feel, hear, taste, or smell. These are all perceptions your brain picks up from sensations and waves. This reality, quite possibly, could be entirely made up. It is entirely made up. When on acid, your perception of reality is... See More »
I Am Getting BetterWhen I had originally joined back on here it was for anonymously ripping off all my demon band-aids. And in doing so kind of made me lose my place in the universe for a few months. But here I am, sitting here as I used to, not so freaked out and hurt... See More »
