6 Days Clean

A deep breath, prayer, app tools, reaching out, a hot cup of tea with lots of honey. Today's Spiritual Principle reading was on sponsorship. My sponsor is really lovely. We laugh together through my hardships (like my being high the time we spoke last week), he gives me his experience and insights, and he fearlessly accepts my messy life each time we talk. Almost a whole week clean, it feels okay. I've been at this number many times before, and many times have not made it to this small number. Being in recovery since my first NA meeting on NYE, I've been absorbing so much. I've met so many great people. If I've learned anything, it is that I cannot do this alone, as much as I'd like to. But that's the disease, wanting to isolate us so we use again. It's a slippery slope once you take that first one. "One is too many and a thousand is never enough," is read at the start of every meeting for a reason. It's a grave, honest reminder. I've been using for 11 years. I need to be proactive and straight forward, but also rectify within myself that this is a process. But it is a process that I can take charge of. With the help of a god of my understanding, my sponsor, my new friends- I feel right not like nothing can stop me.