I am a New Member at Similar Worlds

I bought a puppy today!! Rocko as the girls have named him will be ready for us to take home in 3 weeks. He's a Shih tzu x pappilon and doesn't shed, also he is hypoallergenic. The girls were sooooooooo excited when we got to his house as I told them I had a surprise and they were trying to guess and get me to tell them in the car there. it was only a short drive (5 mins) so I deflected all the questions well. There was 3 boys to choose from, the runt and 2 others. They initially fell in love with the runt, but I know they have health issues and this one was less active that the others so they quickly change their minds and chose Rocko (Rocco?). As we got in the car to leave Somer said 'I miss him'...bless.
I have started feeling a lot better about the seperation and I think this is me going into the final stage of grief, 'Acceptance'. I have realised that I don't really want Sarah anymore. She showed her usual colours today. Our freind who is 80, came around for a coffee while walking the dog. He asked me whether I wanted to go to the pub with him. I said I would ask Sarah if I could go down for a couple. Sarah had been on the treadmill and we saw her when we came down the stairs. I mentioned that Bryan had asked if I wanted to go to the pub for an hour and if it was OK. She flew into a strop 'Justine asked me to go to the pub but I turned her down because you were cooking a curry for us!' She hadn't mentioned she was invited by Justine and normally, as she's going out of the door she says she's going for a drink with whoever and that's that. It was 3pm and I still made the curry with the girls helping and went to the pub, but Bryan had already decide to have a beer at home with Shirley. He invited me to stay for one but I only had an hour so I politely declined. When I got home Sarah asked if I had gone with Bryan and I said he had made other plans and she flew into another strop about me not staying for a drink with them....I can't win! Later she calmed down and came to talk to me outside. We chatted for awhile and I asked her whether she would be better off selling the big house and buying something smaller and cheaper down the road. This was not a good idea... I don't want her to be broke when we divvy things up and she can't look after this property on a 1/2 acre on her own. When we bought this house it was a 110 sqm/1200sq feet house with a double garage. Over 10 years of work and investment we have done many things including lining the garage and that is now my son's room, more that doubling the size of the house, building a 75sgm/800sqf shed with an office to run our business. I have done a lot of work including painting, building decks etc. I think you get the picture. It was to be our forever home. A place to bring up the kids and run our businesses that we had both put so much into. We have 10 years of memories here. To walk away and let her bring her new man into MY house would be devastating...... He doesn't have a clue about the history of this place.... so in addition to wanting her to reduce her asset value and get some money to work with I have that thought.
Things just got real on the business sale too as we have just listed with a broker and we had a conference call with interested buyers. They are really keen to make an offer and are coming down to see us on Monday. When the bueiness sells we will have to seperate everything out...bank accounts, property, money etc. Sarah was very excited by the potential but I felt flat....that would be the end.....I know it's coming but I don't have to be happy about it do I? Thanks for reading x

Npc: I think I need to add some more background to give you a true picture of the two of us. When I met her a friend of mine, who knew her well warned me that she was a good time girl....I was angry that he was saying these things about my new girlfriend and argued that he had misunderstood her. We lived away from each other which meant we saw each other at the weekend.She told me later on that she had told her roommate that she had met the man she was going to marry after our first meeting. I was a little more cautious, wanting to get to know her. One of the first instances of her jealous rages came when we attended the christening of a friends child. I had worked with Guy for a few years and was also friends with his partner. I was one of the godparents. After the service we had drinks and went to a local pub. I was chatting innocently with one of the female god parents in a nice social setting. Sarah came over in a foul mood and started being very rude to this lady and suggesting she was trying to chat me up. We had to leave as she was making a scene. My friends character was soon put to the sword. Sarah never apologised for her jealous outburst. When we had arguments at home it was me who walked away to cool off and her that would chase after me to continue often resulting in her physically attacking me. At this point I hadn't laid a finger on her. At my parents New Year's Eve party I took myself off to bed after drinking too much and she burst into the room and scratched my face. All my relatives were in the room below and heard the performance. My dad spoke to us the next day and told us we needed to sort ourselves out or we wouldn't last very long together. The amount of times I have hit her over the last 17 years you could count on one hand. It always ended the fight not started it. This is the truth as John is my witness. I have the shame of hitting her but she will never admit to any blame for our relationship issues.. Instead saying that it was because I wasn't honest about my past relationships etc. She has hardly ever apologised to me for anything. If you look up controlling people on google she fits the criteria perfectly. I have been distanced from friends and family and she always wants to know where I am, why it took me so long to do my errands etc. I have opened my heart to you about my shame at hitting her but this might give you some perspective on both of us. This is not to mention the verbal abuse, her best friend even told me that I was not the only one to blame, that Sarah should take equal responsibility for the marriage issues. My friend who is the best friends husband said that he wouldn't tolerate the way she speaks to me sometimes. Despite all that I loved her and we made it this far. I hope she finds happiness but she probably needs to take some ownership for the failure of our marriage otherwise she will carry on blaming others for her unhappiness.

Yesterday was a good day. I went to see the vendor of the house I want to buy. He's a nice family man like me. I layed everything on the table. There is another interested party but I later heard they would offer less (we live in a small community). I spent a long time with my 15 year old boy. We did some lawnmower training as he will need to step up when I move out.i spent a while talking to Sarah. We listened to music. When my father in law died a few years ago I had a playlist on my phone. I put it on shuffle and John selects the tracks. He loved Johnny cash, Nick Cave and Leonard Cohen, amongst others. Sarah and I listened to Johns selections and sure enough he had messages for us in the tracks he chose. She cried, she's doing it tough too, which surprises me a little as I thought she was over me and moved on, I guess 17 years does count for something after all!? We went to the pub later on to see a friend who is over with his family from Oz. I've always liked him, he's done really well to build a life for him and his family over there. He told me about his depression and how he got over it by excersize. He told me about his personal trainer who has just moved back here and is amazing. Sounds like soon I'll be irresistible to the opposite sex. Life has funny ways of knocking you down and then picking you back up aye?

To say this has been a traumatic week would be a massive understatement. I can't get the visions of her and the new man out of my head. The other night we sat on our deck and had a really awesome chat. We talked openly for the first time for years. We complemented each other and truths were exchanged. I've found a house close by. The kids can go between them on their bikes and the school is right next door. I love it as it's quite rural. There are paddocks at the back and no neighbours too close. We had a nice family meal last night and were united with the children. I don't want to have a crappy realationship with her. We both told each other that we still love them and we always will. I need to be strong and keep going forward. I'm frightened of what the future holds. Sarah and I were a team at home and work. She's an amazing saleswoman and I did a lot of the other stuff. I don't really know what I will do for a job. I want me and the kids to have the same lifestyle. Most of all I fear the loneliness when they are with their mum. I just need to get up have a shower and get on with my day every day and keep smiling for them. Friends have been great. The one person I'm too scared to talk to is my mum. She's the love of my life and I know her heart will be breaking too.

Quest. Thanks for your honesty. Yes I think your right. I need to come to terms with it and move on. I'm still going through that process and to me in my state there's still hope... it has been the hardest 2 weeks of my life so I know that I still love her. Hopefully she can be happy and that we can still be friends. We have a lot of happy memories. Thousands of photos, 3 beautiful children and many years working together in our business. It's hard to see that disappear into the mists of time. I'm actually a very loving and caring guy and I've known that I have this ability to snap and hurt her. I've been taking medication which is fine but has side effects I don't like.....very personal ones. I should have gone to counselling years ago and things might have been different but they're not. Sarah is also a passionate and fiery individual with a jealous streak and the desire to control. It's not all me and it's not an excuse for what I've done. I am taking responsibility for it and trying to be a better man for me and for all the people I love. I'm a law abiding, hard working, caring, friendly and living man who has some flaws....time will tell how the future pans out.

Yesterday was my birthday. I was 48 years old. I received some great gifts from my family including a proper camera with 2 lenses so I can take photos of the birds, river, people etc. I wanted one at christmas but Sarah didn't want me to get one. She has been so good to me recently and this was another indication of her progress. My son made me a delicious breakfast with bacon, pork sausages, eggs and black pudding (blood sausage), which we both love. Sarah and I spent the whole day together. We went for a drive to a town about 45mins away to install a coffee machine. We have a coffee roasting business and import and sell them as well as supplying all the consumables. She didn't need to come, I usually do these things alone, but I asked her to and she said as long as I didn't ask about 'him', she would. We got back and there was the usual flurry of kids after school activites. We went to the local pub for a meal as a family. It was delicious. I had blue steak (very rare), it melted in my mouth. Olly and Sarah had the chicken which was delicous. Afterwards Olly and I joined the pub quiz with a few of the school mums who we know. One of them came outside for a cigarette with me and asked me how I was. I told her about what had happened and she was very understanding. Sarah had taken the girls home so when I got home I went into her (our) bedroom to see her. She asked me if I'd said anything to anyone and I told her I had....she lost her temper and said they would all be gossiping about us. I said it was better to hear it from the horses mouth than to hear second hand and make stuff up. She seems to think that everything can go on as normal and nobody she knows needs to have a clue about the massive changes in our lives. She doesn't get to pull the strings. When she was talking to him on the phone in the pub with her friends and telling anyone who would listen how we were splitting up, did I have a say in anything. I didn't even know what she was up to...Now she has made her decision re this man and I'm moving out, they are the facts. She takes no ownership of our marital problems, saying it's all my fault.
I have to make a confession which will shock you all. The thing I've held in which has been a blight on our marriage and my deepest embarassment...I have hit her. I haven't done it for a few years. But in the heat of an argument I have in the past hit her and I'm deeply ashamed... I'm not a beater who comes home and knocks my wife around, it's been when drunk and when provoked over a sustained period of time. At the start of our marriage she used to hit me over the head with lamps, she bent my finger which still has a lump on it. But I'm a lot stronger than her and when I hit it hurts a lot. I should have gone to counselling or anger management a long time ago. I'm arranging for some now to make me a better person for her and whoever comes after if any.
I hope you understand and can find it in your hearts to forgive me, and I hope she will. One day in the future I want to show her this blog and I want her to see how truly sorry I am and how I want to be a better person, because changed behaviour is the best apology. Thanks for reading.....

Jace:
From my perspective and from Quest’s observation, you indeed had/have a toxic relationship that has only recently been mitigated by separation. The man your wife has been spending time with is the ‘anti’ of you and could be considered a reaction, as you have alluded.

I’m going to venture a guess that there was an electricity between the two of you which came from some kind of tension. It’s that tension that later developed into the violence you have described. I’m also going to guess that there might have been ‘make-up’ sex as well. So, you would fight then make up and so the cycle goes. One wants to dominate the other – and there was no rest. The problem remains for her, however, is that you did hit her. More than once. That fact is unsettling, I imagine, for a woman with even a small amount of self respect, which is why she would hit back. It also wasn’t just the hitting, there were probably other words/looks/attitudes you might have exchanged which expressed displeasure, adding to that battle ground. She’s had enough. So, let her go, let the terrible relationship and all the bad habits GO. Then, do all you can to look in your mirror and be completely honest with yourself … where does this anger, this rage, this ability to hit the mother of your children.. .where does this come from? I’m not looking for an answer. YOU need to search yourself for that answer, and you have already begun this from what you've been posting. If you should seek out a counselor for input, use that counselor as you would a tool. At some point, you should no longer need that counselor (I speak from experience). The answer comes from within YOU ultimately.

So, I have changed my view on the two of you ever getting back together. Please, for the sake of your children, for the sake of your personal character growth – do not seek to woo your wife back. Either divorce or remain separate. Maintain the friendship. The two of you equal an atomic bomb, if I may use hyperbole. And maybe I’m going to be proven wrong, maybe there are toxic relationships that have healed over time… I’m willing to hear another’s story on that possibility.

My personal experience with toxic relationships: I married a narcissistic schizo-affective person. I wanted to help him reach his potential. His whole purpose in the marriage was to control ME. He never did what was needed to create an actual marriage. We did have children, but everything was about getting me and then the kids to ‘obey ‘. And this was under the guise of a ‘christian’ marriage. So, I left him after about 16 years. My life and my kids’ lives are so much better without the constant war. I don’t care if I ever date again. It’s MY life, I know who I am now and where I am going. I have peace. And so do my children. I also do not hate my ex – I actually forgive him, but I never want to go back. His form of abuse was abject neglect.

I wish you peace. The journey to your healing and peace is not easy but is worth every step.

I took the girls to the river to have s blast in their new quad bike. I just watched them loving it. Somer is 10 and more confident on it. She was doing power slides and she went on the big track when all the big bikes had gone. Alex is 8 and quite timid but loved it. She was fizzing at the bungs as we say in NZ. They want to go there every weekend...I love them so much. They are the beauty in our relationship.
Sarah and I had a couple of bottles of wine. I found out more about her meetings with nipple ring. I know the motel they stayed in in Tauranga. I know the first time they had sex was after the concert the following night. They have only done it twice....I don't think it was that good.
I also know she is hook line and sinker in love with this dude. She's going over to the uk for a holiday with him in August. She has convinced herself he is awesome and it won't be an issue.i don't know how they will work it when he comes over here as his contract is in Tauranga, 3.5hrs drive away. I don't like it. It's too soon for her and feels like a rebound. She is seeing him through rose tinted glasses. I found out he has spoken to Somer....a week ago. I asked her what she thought of him. She said he was weird......
Sarah had an anxiety attack and we hugged for ages. She sobbed and could hardly breath. She told me she loved him but it's hard for her. I don't think she has got over me properly. How can you find true love in that state of mind?
I went to see the vendor of the house I want in the pm. We shook hands on a price. I should feel elated as its perfect for us. Rural views and right next to the school. Kids have their own rooms. Big garage. I should be elated but it feels flat...
I'm still in love with her and told her. I said if we got back together in a year we could keep my new house as a rental. I'm going to counselling to make myself a better person for her, for the next lady in my life....god knows when that will be. I can't say I'm ready or think I ever will be. I've got to improve and move forward. I'm messaging her best friend a lot. She doesn't like the new man and thinks Sarah has changed. I don't like to involve Justine in all this because she has her own issues but I need to speak to someone who is her confident. Justine was the one who told Sarah to go to the UK to see if he is right for her. She also told her to tell me about him.
Is this a flash in the pan? Could he really be so perfect, as perfect as I am imperfect...what's wrong with ME.....the father of her children, her business partner and drinking buddy, we've crammed so much into our 18 years. How can a woman who has been faithful and loyal flick a switch and move on?
She says she'll never go back with me.....NEVER!!!! It's so terminal. I said never say never..... Could we patch things up further down the track? Or will we go through the grief and wake up one day happy in our new lives? God this is hard. I wish I was a dog...they have simple easy carefree lives and love every minute of them.

I slept like a log last night. We had a wines but I only drank a bottle and a bit (yes it is quite a lot). She called me 'love'....by accident I think but it was like being thrown a safety line when your drowning in the sea. yesterday we signed the sale and purchase agreement for my new house. I dropped it off at the vendors house with Somer and we went to the house to have a look as its vacant at the moment. I felt a little flat again...I'm mainly just going through the motions but I seem to have so much energy to get things done. Sarah is renewing her passport and it's two months until her trip to see him. I'm sure I'll be in a better frame of mind by then but right now all I can think about is how they are together...does he make her laugh, do they cuddle, does she kiss him like we used to kiss...is he good in bed...does she orgasm really easily.... It gives me a horrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Will that feeling go away with time, I couldn't bear it if I felt like this for ever.

How many 'true' loves do we have in our lives? People that touch our souls in a deep way, people we share life with. Is there any more love in my heart for someone else? Sarah and I have done so much together 3 kids, property development. We own and run 3 businesses and have 3 rental properties....wow a lot of 3's.. We are going to have to carry on working together to keep it all going, especially the children. She says she wants to stay 'friends'....if nipple ring comes over I don't think I could be friends with him...I will get an irresisitable urge to punch him in the face! He's 5'9" and skinny as and I'm 6'3" and built like an outhouse so he may learn how to fly at that point....just saying!! Please keep replying, it's great to have an outlet like this and I really appreciate your advise and support xx

NPC: It has been that at times. 'Toxic', what a way to describe my marriage. It's a bitter pill to swallow, but swallow it I must if I can move onwards and upwards with my life. I still have my lovely kids, god knows how they have turned out so amazing, happy and beautiful with us as parents. We have always put them first and they have had everything they need to become better people than us. A nice home, great school, plenty of time spent and we tell them we love them every single day and twice on sundays. I believe my late father-in-law, John who was a very special man with an amazing intellect has been guiding us through this. I feel his presence and strength to help me through the dark times and to make the right desisions. I'm not religous but I do believe that our energy lives on after our death and can effect physical things. Good things happen to good people and despite my flaws, and Sarahs, I still believe that good things will happen, are happening to make our lives better. I am still not over her, but the pain is receding slightly. The new man may not be all he's cracked up to be in her eyes, but he's not the reason for our split, just the catylist for what needs to happen to stop the stalemate and move things forward. I hope that we can still be as friendly to each other as we have been recently. Sarah told me last night that when we went to do the machine installation the other day, she had to hold back tears as we chatted and got on like we used to in the good old days. I hope that relationship can continue into our seperate lives and we can still be a family (of sorts) into the future, sharing special moments and having happy memories....weddings, birthdays, Christmas's etc. The good stuff. I would appreciate your thoughts. Thanks guys.

Puppy arrival date has arrived. The girls don't know but after school I will be taking them to pick him up.....can't wait to see their faces.

I am living in my new home...which I love. It's just perfect for me and the kids. The business is under contract which goes unconditional on Monday, fingers crossed. It's exciting but I am still down about it. As time passes I am feeling better about the situation and I think I'll be ok...

I stopped taking the Effexor just over a week ago, after a slowish withdrawal. The strange side effects are gradually decreasing, but are bearable. The doctor says I should be withdrawal free in 3 weeks or so.

I am looking forward to the probability that we can all go to see the family at xmas for a month....that would be awesome. Also I will go over there in November for a couple of weeks to a school reunion. We are going to have a blast...

I havn't felt the need to blog for awhile....I guess I've worked through a lot of my issues, thanks to you guys and others....It's been great to have an outlet with people who don't know me...

I'm not sure when I will next get the chance to blog or feel the urge to.

I hope to maintain my presence on here and there will be times when I need an escape and to discuss with others... or just want to contribute to others stories....It's a great place to do that.

Talk soon....later...

Hmmm..i was allfor you two reconciling until this post. Not because im judging you but because theres been toxicity in your marriage from the start andneither of you two sought help or took responsibility sooner. I have seen many couples stay together inspite of disfunctionality in the relationship. Everyone has to decide for themselves the quality of life they want

Let her go
Don't waste your words
Don't fight this break up
Just smile and act like you're fine, one day you will be you know. You can rage and be angry once you're behind the scene
Be available for your kids, that's everything. Plan dinners, outings and then do that with them, and especially during this time

We went to see her family after Xmas. We drove down and stopped to let the kids have a play in the park. It was a nice relaxing family day. When we got there she took off with her dad to the pub. He asked if I wanted to come but I wanted her to see me and say 'we've had a lovely day, come out for a drink with us and we can have a nice time together'. I was left with her dad's wife and all the kids. Once again I felt I was being used as a babysitter. We haven't seen my family in England in years and she doesn't send so much as a Xmas card to them, but I've been good to hers, even being called the favourite son in law. I took dramatic action. I drove to the airport and books a flight home and left the car there. She pleaded by text, saying she still loves me and she thought that day was the start of the reconciliation, but I was angry and I was going to follow through. I went home in a cloud. She said she grieved for our relationship over the next few days and came out stronger and independent. From what i have heard she was on tinder within a few days and had several guys she was chatting with very quickly. She met a couple of them and it may have gone further but for the new boyfriend coming into the same pub that night. They have a connection. Within 6 weeks of the New Years events she had met her new love. 6 weeks after 17 years of marriage and 3 kids several businesses, houses and god knows what else. That's what it took for the best years of my life to go down the toilet 😢😢😢

Quest. I can't sleep. I can't think about anything else. I want to know everything but I want to know nothing. I know we are over but my heart won't let go. It's not her fault. I've not been the best husband. I've never cheated on her. Not that I've ever really had the opportunity. But this comfort zone has been here for 18 years. She's loved me that long and now she loves someone else she met in a bar. Just like that. It's taken her nearly 3 months to tell me though. I would have preferred to have known sooner. I feel like I've been being the good husband while she is having an affair......he doesn't even live in the same country. He was here on holiday. And just by chance they met....I should be happy that I can move on but I feel empty.

You're doing the right stuff, Jace, you're actually an inspiration... Your kids will benefit with the way you're handling this.
And no question that the pain you have right now is terrible....and that makes me sad for you ....

The grief was like someone you love very much has died. It's numbing and all consuming. It's a deep depression that can't be got out of. Like wading through thick sludge. You can't get away because it's in your head and nothing can stop it..... I arranged for her to have a chat. I was going to ask her direct questions and make arrangements for us to start separating finances etc. But when she turned up I threw my arms around her and begged her to stay with me, to give it another go. I sobbed from the bottom of my heart and I couldn't stop. I didn't want to let her go. She said she knew I would do that. How could she when I didn't know myself?? It was so raw.

Day 5: can't think about anything else. How do I function as a father and business owner with my head full of this grief? Why am I arguing with her about why we are seperating? It's not like this has changed much. I didn't think I loved her anymore. Did I or didn't I? Is this how all relationships end or do some people have hearts that move on quickly? Is she on the rebound? I don't want my kids to suffer with heaps of boyfriends and I don't trust another man I don't know to take care of my castle and it's priceless contents...my beautiful babies😢😰😰

The 5 stages of grief or loss are - denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. You seem to be on stage 2. Time will heal. Hang in there 💙

Way to go. You're taking the high road. It is difficult but you will sleep better (when sleep comes :( ). {(((hugs}}}}

Jace:
I'm in agreement with Quest's reply. Nobody benefits in a toxic relationship.

I'm wondering if Sarah is on a new medication?
She's not making one good decision.

I'm so sorry for you, Jace :(
Give yourself lots of time
Keep posting

I'm sorry. That sounds like a painful situation. I have heard of couples sharing a house after a divorce for the kids or finances. It never works out cause eventually one will start dating.
I recommend that you start separating your assets amiably while you are getting along. Things are going to get worse. (((Hugs))))

4 days in and I've had very little sleep. It's like physical pain that you can't take a pill for. I've decided I need to get my own place whatever it costs. It's the only way I can recover and start rebuilding my life. Maybe one day we'll get back together, hopefully I can be happy on my own and meet somebody who complements me.... Wish me luck x

We have our business for sale so that when it's sold I can move out. We haven't gotten on for a while but this still came as a massive shock. Tge feelings are still there and I will always love her as the person I've built my life with. As you say we need to start seperating things out and get on with our lives.

Today I started off very sad and now I feel angry. How did I not know she was seeing someone? There plenty of people who knew. She told me only he best friend did but there was at least 4 and probably the whole town... What a mug I must look to them all. "Look, there's that sad sap Jason whose wife is fucking some other bloke....hahaha". She never wanted to go to counciling. She's loved up with nipple ring at the moment who is apparently the most amazing man in the world. He's honest, he's understanding...what he's doing with her I don't know...if he wants peace and harmony he's met the wrong lady. Tomorrow morning we see the mortgage lender so I can buy this house and get out of this toxic nightmare. Watch for upcoming blogs about me sobbing myself to sleep in my lonely bed😰😰😰

Jace - You are only human if you are hurt seeing the woman you love date someone else :( Don't beat yourself up too much. Divorce happens to good men all the time. It will take time but try to let her go with love by wishing her all the happiness in the world. It is very hard to do it but you will feel better 💙

I need to move out and see how it goes. I need to change and be the man I can be but have fallen short of. Once I am sorted I can make better decisions about my feelings and so can she. I hope he turns out to be no good......I need one more chance.....or do I? Time will tell...

So sorry :(

You're facing some huge losses, no question. No, you certainly don't have to be happy about any of this, and I am truly sorry for your loss. :(

I am happy about the puppy, though!!

That's the price of a divorce. You can't control who your ex spends time with or who your kids are introduced to. Just hope she will be a responsible parent

Woo her back.
She's talking to you at least.

Do the gym workouts with the trainer, get yourself fit and trim.

Make her want you

I literally had a breakdown. I was sobbing like a child. I didn't know emotions could be that powerful coming from nowhere.

Jace:
Thank you for taking the time to set the record straight, none of this is easy for you.

You sound like a good person who was provoked - that's maddening - walking away is indeed the answer so you can no longer be provoked.

Taking ownership for her part of the demise of the relationship would help, as you've said, but that probably isn't going to happen.

Again, thank you for the background on your situation. I do hope you keep posting.

Good for you. There will be good days and bad but you will get thru it

Share your grief here and with friends. It's all you can do.

Great news!
Living well is the best revenge :)

And I'm certain that is easier said than done.....

:(

Good to hear of your small victories,Jace!
😊