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When your marriage of 18 years is over and you find out your wife with whom you still share a house and business has a boyfriend...
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Let her go
Don't waste your words
Don't fight this break up
Just smile and act like you're fine, one day you will be you know. You can rage and be angry once you're behind the scene
Be available for your kids, that's everything. Plan dinners, outings and then do that with them, and especially during this time