I am a New Member at Similar Worlds

Npc: I think I need to add some more background to give you a true picture of the two of us. When I met her a friend of mine, who knew her well warned me that she was a good time girl....I was angry that he was saying these things about my new girlfriend and argued that he had misunderstood her. We lived away from each other which meant we saw each other at the weekend.She told me later on that she had told her roommate that she had met the man she was going to marry after our first meeting. I was a little more cautious, wanting to get to know her. One of the first instances of her jealous rages came when we attended the christening of a friends child. I had worked with Guy for a few years and was also friends with his partner. I was one of the godparents. After the service we had drinks and went to a local pub. I was chatting innocently with one of the female god parents in a nice social setting. Sarah came over in a foul mood and started being very rude to this lady and suggesting she was trying to chat me up. We had to leave as she was making a scene. My friends character was soon put to the sword. Sarah never apologised for her jealous outburst. When we had arguments at home it was me who walked away to cool off and her that would chase after me to continue often resulting in her physically attacking me. At this point I hadn't laid a finger on her. At my parents New Year's Eve party I took myself off to bed after drinking too much and she burst into the room and scratched my face. All my relatives were in the room below and heard the performance. My dad spoke to us the next day and told us we needed to sort ourselves out or we wouldn't last very long together. The amount of times I have hit her over the last 17 years you could count on one hand. It always ended the fight not started it. This is the truth as John is my witness. I have the shame of hitting her but she will never admit to any blame for our relationship issues.. Instead saying that it was because I wasn't honest about my past relationships etc. She has hardly ever apologised to me for anything. If you look up controlling people on google she fits the criteria perfectly. I have been distanced from friends and family and she always wants to know where I am, why it took me so long to do my errands etc. I have opened my heart to you about my shame at hitting her but this might give you some perspective on both of us. This is not to mention the verbal abuse, her best friend even told me that I was not the only one to blame, that Sarah should take equal responsibility for the marriage issues. My friend who is the best friends husband said that he wouldn't tolerate the way she speaks to me sometimes. Despite all that I loved her and we made it this far. I hope she finds happiness but she probably needs to take some ownership for the failure of our marriage otherwise she will carry on blaming others for her unhappiness.