Is it wrong to call women "Sweetheart" on the phone?

The reason you feel conflicted is because it’s a term of endearment (which could be endearing) that assumes a level of intimacy that doesn’t exist. If my wife calls me baby… I don’t blink an eye. That intimacy exists for us and doesn’t feel out of place. It would if some person (man or woman) called me baby where there is no intimacy to be assumed with a term of endearment. It is the same with sweetheart. @sarabee1995 and I have talked about this many times over the years as some men on here will also use terms of endearment misplaced, since no level of intimacy like that exists between them and I. In the south, I think women were more so viewed as property for a long time where any man could assume a level of intimacy with any women with or without her consent and it’s looked at differently. Same as their opinion of not saying sir is considered being impolite, even though historically those were terms used for certain levels of nobility and not just for regular people. I don’t take issue with sir and ma’am at all, even though it technically doesn’t belong but assumed intimacy I can. It feels awkward at best and actually very creepy and sexualizing without my consent at worst.

“Sir is used to address a man who has the rank of baronet or knight; the higher nobles are referred to as Lord. Lady is used when referring to women who hold certain titles: marchioness, countess, viscountess, or baroness. It can also be used of the wife of a lower-ranking noble, such as a baron, baronet, or knight.”

https://www.merriam-webster.com/wordplay/a-field-guide-to-british-noble-titles-whats-a-duchess#:~:text=Sir%20is%20used%20to%20address,baron%2C%20baronet%2C%20or%20knight.

Like most things in life, context is important. I could see "sweetheart" used either as a kind of warm, appreciative sort of comment -- a "Thank you, sweetheart..." sort of thing, or as patronizing "Now listen up, sweetheart..."

Easy for me to say, since I really don't care what people call me, but I don't think it's the word that's the problem -- it's the message behind it. Which, admittedly, can be a little hard to figure out over the phone. All I can suggest is that you accept it in the spirit in which it was intended. Or not, as it suits you.

I don't even know why I'm responding to this now. Clearly I don't have as much to say as I first thought. :-)

It is belittling to be addressed in that way, though I suspect it is usually an unconscious expression of patriarchy. It is, nonetheless, offensive and should be avoided.

In some regions of England, it is not uncommon for women of a certain social class to address both men and other women as "love" or "dearie". Although this may seem over familiar, it is rarely offensive.

I'm in the habit of calling women "Hon." It's not meant to patronize and hope it isn't taken that way. But I am a Southerner and we are, or used to be, raised differently. I was once told by a guy that his wife was angry at me for not shaking her hand when I met her. I informed him that, where I was raised, a gentleman doesn't offer his hand to a lady. It's considered too forward. He gently takes her hand if offered.
I guess that it's the same situation. Sometimes it's just where and how you were raised.

I think it's more patronizing than anything.

I'm a man and I've had southern women address me as sweetheart. I don't think they mean anything by it, but if it's making you uncomfortable, that's still a problem.

I've never thought of it in terms of good, bad or wrong, so much, except when it comes off as clearly condescending. It's not always easy to tell, but most times...it is.

Personally, it doesn't matter much if it's a man or a woman calling me an endearment like "sweetheart", when it seems patronizing.

I would say few people who speak like that intend to be patronizing or misogynistic. It's mostly a cultural thing based on where you were raised. But you can't please everyone. Sometimes trying to be nice just isn't worth it. I've smiled at a clerk once and she became upset. I was taught a smile will brighten someone's day so I smile often. If someone is upset by it, not a problem. I can always bring my business elsewhere.

I would most likely reply by calling him "handsome" or something like that. I wouldn't take it too seriously, he's trying to be nice, just swallow it, with a smile if possible.

It's just the traditional way older men address younger women. It is patronising and vaguely misogynistic inasmuch as they won't even consider your feelings about being called that and would likely feel affronted if you pulled them up about it. They might even feel a little annoyed at you as they'll think, at best, that you're being a little oversensitive, at worst a feminazi. I'm approaching 60, but I would never address any woman using such terms.

I dont speak that way, but, if a lady calls me sweetheart or honey or dear, i dont get offended. i have been called worse.

It all depends on the vide. You can feel if it’s just being polite and friendly. In my country it’s common.

I remember when I was in high school an adult woman called me "sweetheart" after I'd helped her with something. I was like "d'awww" 🥴

I get that a man calling a woman "sweetheart" can seem inherently condescending even if it isn't intended that way, as it assumes women need to be addressed with special, endearing language that no man would receive. But if it's cultural and regional and nothing's meant by it, I wouldn't call it "wrong".

If it comes off as awkward, I just imagine the speaker dressed up as a waitress in a 1950's American diner whenever a stranger calls me dear, honey, or sweetheart or something like that. And I have the urge to respond back in an exaggerated Dick Tracy voice.

I've been called "dear" or "love" ("luv"?) by women in customer service. It seems odd to me but I assume it is intended warmly and is a cultural thing. I would tend to see this the same way, especially since you notice a cultural pattern about it (older men in the US South).

I have never felt bad about being called a sweetheart.

I fucking hate it and I even hate when I go to the states and the waitress in the restaurant calls me sweetie or honey. I’m Not there sweetheart sweetie or honey

At work I get that from much older men sometimes, like old enough to be my dad. Most of the time it's harmless and said with good intentions

People from the south say honey, sweetheart, etc. Thats normal there.
Yet I didn't care for it at the doctors office. Didn't seem appropriate.

Well iam from Yorkshire so it’s normal to say love

No honey. I really don't see what the deal is but perhaps it depends what part of the world ones from.

How does it make you feel patronized?

🙄

You can tell when the intention is ill and that’s rare. I’m sure I don’t see every single thing the way everyone else thinks I ought to either, and I hope the same grace can be extended to me.

🤔........Women can call a man honey or sweetheart but a man can't call a woman by those names............It's the double standard rule.............My dad was from Texas and he always said thank you mam or yes mam..............One time I was at the store with my dad and mom and my dad said Thank you Mam to an older lady working there and she got all pissed off at him................lol we were all laughing at it.........

Theres no right words anymore no matter whats said someone is offended.
Were failing as people fast

I don't know whether it's good or bad but I wouldn't like it if a stranger calls me a sweet heart

I don't mind at all but I grew up in the country. I call people sweetheart and hun pretty often.

Yeah that's condescending. In fact I only do that to men (that inconvenience me) 💀

I don’t take it personally at all. Not at all offended or patronized

It's weird. Because it's overstepping a boundary

Older men from the south . Been there.

sweetheart/love/hunny/bunny/babe/darling/etc. all very cringeworthy terms of so-called endearment.

You can just interrupt in between

My pardon sir, I am no one’s sweetheart. Yes you heard me right. No one’s.

only time I'll put up with it is when I stop at some truck stop diner in the middle of nowhere and there's some hick waitress ambling around with a pot of coffee saying 'more coffee hun?' then I eat that shit up. otherwise GTFO.

an older woman at work is saying "honey" to me all the time.
I don't mind, it is her thing and I just let it be.

Sometimes older women call me "hon" or "honey." I don't mind.

They shouldn't. Doesn't matter where they're from.

I personally dont like it. Its arbitrarily flirtatious.

It's patronizing as fuck especially from a stranger. And so is dear 🙄

yes, an in person as well!

[media=https://youtu.be/GgvDariuAN0]

It’s wrong

As long as it's meant to spend cheer to the one you're talking to it's more than fine.
I call everyone honey or sweetheart. It's so much better than not saying their names right... Plus it shows the person that you are being there friend.

No. Kill them all.

In a professional setting it’s one of those inappropriate habits older men are unlikely to break, alas. I tended to ignore it as long as nothing else (like inappropriate touching) went with it. The culture has at least changed enough that most bosses know not to urge women to encourage that response ("he likes you, honey !"). There’s been some progress.

Politically incorrect, for sure, but for some people it's normal, the way they were brought up, and they don;t realize it might be offensive.

I generally don't myself unless I'm extremely familiar with the woman in question, and it's at least somewhat intimate.

I don’t think it’s intentionally derogatory. It’s men of a certain age. Just an opinion. 99% of the time it is innocent.

Telesales here. Your job is to sell, not have feelings lol