Is it wrong to call women "Sweetheart" on the phone?

I work as a telephone agent. My last caller insisted on calling me "sweetheart" during the call. He was an older gentleman. I get this from time to time, especially from older men in the American South. When guys talk like that, I feel a mix of feelings as a woman, both valued but also patronized.

Do you think it's good or bad when men talk to women this way? Why do you think so?

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Richard65 · M

It's just the traditional way older men address younger women. It is patronising and vaguely misogynistic inasmuch as they won't even consider your feelings about being called that and would likely feel affronted if you pulled them up about it. They might even feel a little annoyed at you as they'll think, at best, that you're being a little oversensitive, at worst a feminazi. I'm approaching 60, but I would never address any woman using such terms.

ShadowSister · 46-50, F

@Richard65 Right. I'm in sales. I'm not ever going to contradict a caller if I want to make that sale. I usually just put up with it. I'm just never sure if I should be feeling some kind of way about it or not.

Richard65 · M

@ShadowSister how do you feel about it? Don't pre-empt your reaction or be tempted to overthink it. If someone calls you that, what's your immediate, natural internal reaction?

ShadowSister · 46-50, F

@Richard65 Well, as I said in the main post, it's a mix. In a way it makes me feel valued, but in another way it makes me feel dismissed.