Is it wrong to call women "Sweetheart" on the phone?

I work as a telephone agent. My last caller insisted on calling me "sweetheart" during the call. He was an older gentleman. I get this from time to time, especially from older men in the American South. When guys talk like that, I feel a mix of feelings as a woman, both valued but also patronized.

Do you think it's good or bad when men talk to women this way? Why do you think so?

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OliRos · 18-21, F

It is belittling to be addressed in that way, though I suspect it is usually an unconscious expression of patriarchy. It is, nonetheless, offensive and should be avoided.

In some regions of England, it is not uncommon for women of a certain social class to address both men and other women as "love" or "dearie". Although this may seem over familiar, it is rarely offensive.

DarkHeaven ·

@OliRos I would not want it. I’m not their love. I’m my wife’s love.

Slade · 56-60, M

@OliRos 👎

Simping will NOT get you laid

OliRos · 18-21, F

@Slade Have you any idea of what you are talking about? Or did you just headbutt your keyboard?

SW-User

@DarkHeaven I usually call someone love on here when expressing sympathy.

DarkHeaven ·

@SW-User it always feels very awkward to me.

SW-User

@DarkHeaven probably because it is. Here is the only place I use it myself. I started to use it because it felt awkward for me to call them by their username twice. I never think about just removing from the front @DarkHeaven

DarkHeaven ·

@SW-User My username here for a couple of years was Nothingness, so some people still call me Ness. I think it feels more like a name to them and helps it all feel less digital.

SW-User

@DarkHeaven that's sweet. I'd use an alias if you adopted one. DarkHeaven just feels like a place I want to go to for so many reasons. It's very evocative.

DarkHeaven ·

@SW-User it’s actually my name, kind of. My real first name means Dark and my real middle name means Heaven, so DarkHeaven is my real name without having to give it out.

SW-User

@DarkHeaven I think you told me that once when we first started talking. I immediately ran to Google translate to see if I could figure it out. Like solving a puzzle not like a creep 😂😂😂

DarkHeaven ·

@SW-User The dark part would be a range of names without knowing more. And several for heaven too. It feels pretty safe. Plus no last name. That would be that one that totally outs me. It’s Icelandic, so it’s kinda strange.

SW-User

@DarkHeaven mmmm I'm sure I'd love it. I'm going to start thinking about other things now. I start thinking naughty thoughts adjacent to you, it's like thinking about a sister (a wonderful step sister) and I enjoy living in your friend zone too much. I'm your "straight friend" 🤣😜🤣

DarkHeaven ·

@SW-User my last name would be strange in Icelandic too because we took an Icelandic last name and sort of Americanized it, so I don’t fit nowhere. lol

SW-User

@DarkHeaven yeah you do 😏

DarkHeaven ·

@SW-User Normally, In Iceland nobody carries a family name. Your last name is your Da’s first name with son on the end if you’re a boy and dóttir at the end if you’re a girl. So my Da’s last name is his Da’s first name with son at the end but that’s kind of tough to do here because a lot of stuff is tied to family last names in America. So me and my two brothers and I just kept my Da’s last name (Grandpas first name with son on the end,) even though it should have changed to Da’s first name and also I’m a girl so it should have had dóttir at the end. I’d most likely be one of very few girls with son on the end in Iceland. Maybe the only one.

SW-User

@DarkHeaven You're blonde, sexy, rocker, lesbian, no one is going to give a shit and your last name. They'd be too busy focusing on all those attractive qualities (all packed into an absolutely perfect personality!!) I just can't 🤣😂🤣