My coworker asked "if you were to use one word to describe yourself, what would it be?"I just said umm...ah "weird" and went back to doing what i was doing. Him: i'd describe you as polite. Me: lol i don't see myself as polite? Sometimes i don't even say good morning? Haha. Him: Yeah well i've never seen you disrespect anyone. Me:... See More ยป
My mom gets her doordash orders wrong all the time, idk why she still uses it lolMe: You know you can't be giving them complicated orders and expecting it to be right? You know they're retarded... Mother: But this order wasn't even that complicated. Me *looks it over and sees that it's fairly uncomplicated* yes it is. It needs... See More ยป
I wanna remove this girl on fb because she won't give me a chance ๐But her memes and sense of humor is so good. Annoying.
I finally had my ciggy lastnight. I had 2 cause i crave a nic rush when i'm drunkThe first one was great. The second one was like...this shit actually sucks, i'm good for the next 3 months
I wish i could shrink myself, put a saddle on my cats back and ride her throughout the house.I hate it when i can't get what i want.
Am i being delusional, or is this intuition?Because i can be pretty delusional. But then again, i took a lot of what people said at face value and learned how much people actually causally lie and made me feel i was delusional about things i was actually right about? You know what, i need... See More ยป
When i say milk is disgusting, everyones automatic response is "Ah, you're lactose intolerant"No? What part of "Milk is Disgusting do you not understand? Translation: I don't like it lol.
I asked this guy if a woman has ever called him thick before, just joking around and to see if he'd get uncomfortableInstead he got all giddy and told me lots of women told him he's "thicc" and then he said "i'm thicker than most girls. A lot of girls like my ass ๐โโ" LOL
I remember the face i made when i learned what "backshots" meantThey really make things sound so unsexy ๐๐๐
Someone told my step mom she needed to get therapy after getting cheated on by my dad with her best friend.She just laughed and said "That's an American thing" First of all, therapy was great lol.
I bought new anxiety pills. And i'd say they're working pretty well so far.I said "i don't care" at work 3 times today. And meant it. I even convinced one of my close coworkers not to care about something he was worried about and he went "you know what? You're right. I like the way you think" lol It isn't a passive... See More ยป
I had a nightmare that i was doing server training again,mSomeone told me to ring in an order. I said "got it" but all the computers were taken, it was a busy night. then they told me that there was some downstairs (we don't have a downstairs) and so i go downstairs and nothing looks familiar, i cannot find... See More ยป
I had a weird dream and selah and deadgerbil was in it.One minute i'm inviting Selah to a fancy dinner at my house, with candles? The next minute i'm on a beach with deadgerbil trying to convince me to sell my soul to the devil.
I'm going to Busch Garden's Howl-O-Scream and i can't back down now, it's already paid forSometimes i say yes to things and assume people will forget like they used to do ๐
*driving my mom to work because she couldn't find gas*Me: Sometimes i think about driving my car into that lake just to see what happens, do you ever think about doing that? Mom: ...you're weird...
Nothing scares me more than waking up at 3am, or trying to sleep at 3amI grew up in a very superstitious family. The stories i heard growing up never left my mind. I'm in the house by myself ๐
The whole not being able to get gas thing is getting old.I was waiting in line for almost an hour and as soon as i was so close to the pump, i could almost lick it, the officer said "we just ran out, only diesel" i gave him an attitude. I know its not his fault, but i wasn't trying to hear that. In... See More ยป