How do you release your anger?

@Adogslife So, what I'm hearing you say here is that you think I'm angry, because I'm experiencing frustration at your continued use of language that indicates that any emotion humans normally experience is destructive or bad. That's not what I'm saying. I'm trying to get you to look at your choice of words and understand why it is unhelpful.

You say that you do not consider anger an invalid emotion, yet I still see language in your reply that calls it destructive, etc. Anger in and of itself is nothing more than an emotional response to bad things happening. It is not destructive, and can be a highly useful tool. Large organized protests are a result of anger. Writing to your state representatives can be done out of anger. Anger is a tool to be used to implement change in the world that needs to happen.

The problem with the pop psychology response that you gave is that while you specify that you are not calling anger invalid, you conflate the emotion of anger with rage responses.

@LordShadowfire Well, in short, you don’t know me personally. You’re simply parsing words with a subtle acerbic bent assuming that the way you process should be normal for me as well. That’s not the case.

Everyone has the ability, some less than others, to be triggered less. My wife, for example, is exceedingly triggered. I certainly don’t invalidate her emotions, but my calm responses help to balance her. It’s also true that her passionate responses to many things open my eyes to different perspectives.

It’s ying and yang - water finding its level. I’m also 64. Age calms people. It makes you humble and reflective moreso than is needed when you’re younger.

I also negotiate for a living. That teaches listening over reaction. I’ve also trained in martial arts for years. That helps with calmness and situational awareness.

@Adogslife You negotiate for a living. Interesting. I would think, then, that you'd notice when you are invalidating emotions.

I know, I know, you said that you never said anger was an invalid emotion, but conflating the emotion of anger with a rage response is basically invalidating anger without saying it.

I haven't always been the most stable person, emotionally, even after more than a decade of therapy, but even I recognize that telling people "Just don't get angry" when they are feeling anger is invalidating to them. When I am feeling angry, and my brain is taking the all too familiar pathway toward rage, someone telling me not to feel angry gives that rage a direction. Because what I hear, regardless of intent, is "Your anger is bad and destructive, and it is invalid as a result."

What that has to do with me knowing you at all, I don't know. I tried to focus on your message, not you personally, because I know that when people react to my statements by calling me names, that ends communication. If I gave the appearance of attacking you personally, I apologize, as that was not my intent.

@Wiseacre then you drive somewhere else

@Orca4950 my point is, anger sticks around..better to accept the anger.

@Wiseacre hopefully for the angered person neither the anger nor the need to get rid of it hangs around for long

@Adogslife add in a cold plunge!!

@Fullmetal opening the pool for the season tomorrow 👍🏻. it’s an awesome end to a workout.

@Adogslife some carenza, either sinawalli or espota y daga!!

@nedkelly Music does soothe the soul doesn't it.

@thepreposterouspanda you must be talented then

@SuperSecretSquirrel A bit anyway! I'm a self-taught guitarist who's been playing for about 21 years at this point, give or take a few years lost to chronic illness. :)

@SuperSecretSquirrel It’s a big steel drum you shoot holes in the bottom of and burn stuff in.

@Pinkstarburst gets so hot, it’ll burn anything

@Rumination Yep

@QCDog2659 yeah about the same way, I had one adrenal gland removed and the other one has to do the job of both now. Better to chill out and not let things get under my skin.

@cherokeepatti time to find a new tree stump, huh?

@tpuk83 Classic.

@caPnAhab It's a good one for when I get frustrated with people who know everything.

@LordShadowfire I know a song or two made for knowitalls
[media=https://youtu.be/CYpE6B4SV5E]

@caPnAhab That just went on my list.

@ChiefJustWalks Same

@ChiefJustWalks @Notladylike I think you'll find this interesting.

https://www.healthline.com/health-news/dont-watch-your-mouth-swearing-can-actually-be-good-for-your-health

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/some-assembly-required/201801/profanity-can-be-therapeutic-af

@blackarcher256 I did that once. My dad was talking to a potential business partner about a real estate deal, and she said something about parolees that I found terribly offensive. I went for a walk around the block, then asked myself if I still wanted to hurt her. I repeated this process until I just wanted to sit down and didn't care who had said what.

I suppose I should do that more often.