How do you release your anger?

@Adogslife Wow! Okay! It's that simple, huh? Just don't get angry. Just don't feel anything. Just don't experience emotions.

@LordShadowfire No, people can be as negative or angry as they want. But, just because that’s the energy they’re emitting, it doesn’t mean I have to absorb it. That’s their problem. I’m livin’ my life.

@Adogslife That's not what you said. You said don't get angry. You basically advised someone not to have emotions.

@LordShadowfire Or to relax and think first before becoming triggered.

@Adogslife Oh, so you're one of those. You don't actually mean what you're saying. It's not to be taken at face value. Because everyone feels anger regardless. What you're saying is take a step back when you feel anger rather than acting on it.

But you see, when you phrase it like that, it can get interpreted as meaning that anger is not a valid emotion, and people are bad for feeling it.

@LordShadowfire You seem to be angry now. Frankly I don’t see the point. You do realize that people do process emotions differently.

I’ve been through enough, things that most haven’t. So, I simply chose not to live the rest of my life with destructive emotions. It only brings you down. It only promotes frustration over acceptance in many instances.

That by no means means that anger is an invalid emotion. It’s just not a “go to” for me - almost never.

@Adogslife So, what I'm hearing you say here is that you think I'm angry, because I'm experiencing frustration at your continued use of language that indicates that any emotion humans normally experience is destructive or bad. That's not what I'm saying. I'm trying to get you to look at your choice of words and understand why it is unhelpful.

You say that you do not consider anger an invalid emotion, yet I still see language in your reply that calls it destructive, etc. Anger in and of itself is nothing more than an emotional response to bad things happening. It is not destructive, and can be a highly useful tool. Large organized protests are a result of anger. Writing to your state representatives can be done out of anger. Anger is a tool to be used to implement change in the world that needs to happen.

The problem with the pop psychology response that you gave is that while you specify that you are not calling anger invalid, you conflate the emotion of anger with rage responses.

@LordShadowfire Well, in short, you don’t know me personally. You’re simply parsing words with a subtle acerbic bent assuming that the way you process should be normal for me as well. That’s not the case.

Everyone has the ability, some less than others, to be triggered less. My wife, for example, is exceedingly triggered. I certainly don’t invalidate her emotions, but my calm responses help to balance her. It’s also true that her passionate responses to many things open my eyes to different perspectives.

It’s ying and yang - water finding its level. I’m also 64. Age calms people. It makes you humble and reflective moreso than is needed when you’re younger.

I also negotiate for a living. That teaches listening over reaction. I’ve also trained in martial arts for years. That helps with calmness and situational awareness.

@Adogslife You negotiate for a living. Interesting. I would think, then, that you'd notice when you are invalidating emotions.

I know, I know, you said that you never said anger was an invalid emotion, but conflating the emotion of anger with a rage response is basically invalidating anger without saying it.

I haven't always been the most stable person, emotionally, even after more than a decade of therapy, but even I recognize that telling people "Just don't get angry" when they are feeling anger is invalidating to them. When I am feeling angry, and my brain is taking the all too familiar pathway toward rage, someone telling me not to feel angry gives that rage a direction. Because what I hear, regardless of intent, is "Your anger is bad and destructive, and it is invalid as a result."

What that has to do with me knowing you at all, I don't know. I tried to focus on your message, not you personally, because I know that when people react to my statements by calling me names, that ends communication. If I gave the appearance of attacking you personally, I apologize, as that was not my intent.