smiler jokethree men died and went to heaven together where saint peter was waiting at the pearly gates saint peter said to the three men before i let you into heaven can you tell me how you old died the first man said i thought my wife was having an... See More »
smiler jokeswent past a greengrocers shop that had shut for the day i could still hear a bee gees song from inside bellowing out the owner came out to lock up and i asked where the music was coming from as i could stil hear a song the greengrocer said oh i... See More »
smiler jokethe police stopped a blonde who was speeding the police got out of his car and went over to the blondes car the policeman said excuse me madam did you know what speed you where doing can i see your driving licence please the blonde gave a big... See More »
smiler joketeacher asked johnny who is the president of iraq johnny johnny thought about it and said i do not know miss the teacher was peeved ay johnny reply and said you need to conscentrate on your studies johnny put his hand up and said to the teacher can... See More »
smiler jokei was looking out of my bedroom window in horror as a crowd swarmed around a man who had come off his motorcycle i ran down stairs out into the street towards where the accident had happened i fought through the swarm of people who had gathered... See More »
smiler jokea woman walks into her kitchen and spots her husband stood armed with a fly swat his wife asks him what are you doing the husband replied looking for flies i have killed three male and two female ones already his wife was intrigued and asked how... See More »
smiler jokea woman came in the house and said to her husband i think there is a problem with the car i think there is water in the carborette. her husband looked at her in astonishment and said how do you know it is that i did not know you even knew what a... See More »
smiler jokea man went into his local supermarket picked a joint of beef up and walked out towards the door with out paying for it the seccurity guard had been watching and seen what had gone on the security shouted over to the man oh what you are you doing... See More »
smiler jokei have a girlfriend my pet name i have for her is wheelie bin 🤔my problem is i cannot think if i take her out tuesday or wednesday every week lol
smiler jokea woman said to her husband there it is again a voice coming from the biscuit tin and it keeps singing hello is it me you are looking for her husband piped up and said do not worry dear it will be lionel rich tea
smiler jokei have just found out i am on the same camp site as former pop singer cat stevens i am helping him put his tent back up his awning has broken
smiler jokea woman answered her phone at home and it was a pervert on the end heavy breathing . he said to the woman i bet you have a tight hairless arse . she said i do my husband is watching the golf on television do you wnat to speak to him lol
smiler jokethe police arrested two kids last night one for drinking battery acid the other for eating fireworks . the police commented after interviewing them both the first one was charged and the second was let off
smiler jokei rang my scottish boss at work to say i would not be in work today i have a cough. the boss sounded quiet sympathetic knowing i was not swinging the led and said to me oh you have a wee cough laddie . i said thank you boss i will see you next... See More »
smiler jokei went to the bank on saturday morning and bumped in seventies ;pop artist gilbert o sullivan i liked his music and asked for his autograph i asked him what he was up to he gave a big sigh and said in a sad voice a lone again naturally
smiler jokewent to a re union of old shoe repairers recently i left early was nothng but a load of old cobblers
smiler jokepaddy was driving past the bus stop and saw mick waiting patiently for a bus paddy wound down the window and said to mick would you like a lift mick mick replied no thank you paddy i will miss my bus
smiler jokepaddy was selling his pet python in the paper a man rang interested in buy this python he asked paddy how long is this python paddy replied sorry i have no idea the man said what two three feet paddy laughed and said you eijit snakes do not... See More »
smiler jokewhy are skeletons considered residual coward when it come to a fight they have noi guts lol
smiler jokedid you hear the italian restaurant was shut out of the blue the chef ate some of his own cooking and pasta away sudden lol
smiler jokewhilst i travelled on the london underground daily i taught my canine companion how to play a penny whistle a very clever dog in half an hour it went from barkin to tooting 😆
smiler jokei heard on the grape vine today cadbury are thinking of bringing out a new orietal chocolate bar not sure how true it is or it wil be a chinese whisper 😆
smiler joketwo men in a car and the passenger asked the driver do you ever sing in the car whilst driving the car driver said no not usually unless i am reversing as i am a back up singer 😆
smiler jokewife was telling her husband that she had been given bad news that there next door had died suddenly the husband replied who ray the wife chastised him and said to him you callous bastard it is nothing to cheer about 😆
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