Do you think my boyfriend has something to hide because he changed his passcode after I went through his phone.

Maybe he does have something to hide.

Maybe he does not.

But what is certain is that you have boundaries' issues. Trust issues. Inability to control yourself but an urge to excercise control over him.

You are fully aware it is wrong and it hurts him, you would still do it.

This is one of the things that really made me angry towards people back when I was available for dating. It wasn't particularly about phone privacy, but it was fundamentally the same issue. The need to control someone who doesn't want to be controlled that way. Find a person who is into it instead or work on outgrowing it.

That is to say, instead of forcing someone to let you see their phone, date people who are fine with it, and fine with where you are mentally right now.

Don't make his life a nightmare for refusing to let you see his phone or any other differences you have. Let the guy in peace.

Well you should know if he is hiding something or not since you have already looked.

If i were him i would be getting a new gf.

Okay.
Take SW for example. I'm sharing some innermost thoughts that I might not necessarily want to share with a potential boyfriend or girlfriend,
hiding something isn't necessarily a guilty avenue. Could be something private.

Even when in a relationship, it's best to keep some privacy, that's how I see it.

i peaked at your account and it seems like you may be battling some insecurity. in another post you were worried about whether or not his ex is prettier than you. here you're very worried about his phone. how long have you been dating him?

i understand to some extent, bc if i was dating someone and they were very actively trying to keep me off their phone id feel quite weird about it. but ive personally never wanted to go through a boyfriends phone. and, personally, id never want someone to go through my phone. i feel weird even letting my besties on my phone. its my private box where i store my private thoughts, bank info, i have sw/reddit on it.. my pages are completely clean but id never want someone irl to view it. theyre my escape from irl pressure and if i knew i was being monitored id just feel invaded (and hurt because they don't trust me)

i think you need to take a step back and address how you feel about yourself. not just bc men aint shi, but i promise you will not feel fulfilled in any relationship until you love yourself. they can love you with every fiber of their being, but if you dont learn how to love yourself you will never shed the weight of this worry. and with that in mind, while a good partner will always want you to be a happy and confident person, it's not their job to make you into that person

practice positive thinking, write down positive thoughts, say nice things to yourself. its so corny but so easy and a very good first step to practicing your confidence. i promise that you can have more security in yourself, and with that you will find happier relationships

Privacy is very important to some people. Not because they are hiding something, but because it is a right. When someone else violates that privacy, then they are within their rights to protect themselves.

Your boyfriend hasn't broken up with you over what you've done, so if I were you, I would consider myself very lucky.

My ex-husband violated my privacy in every way he possibly could. He used to search my purse, for goodness knows what, and made himself the admin of our shared computer, and rooted through all of my files, while keeping his own private.

My feelings for him began to change, because he was basically TELLING me that he was sick and paranoid, and that he didn't trust me, when I had done nothing to earn his distrust.

Why did you go through his phone in the first place?

He probably feels you’ve invaded his privacy.

Here’s what I think. First, I understand why it bothers you.

But if you have to check his phone, then there’s one of two things wrong. Either he’s done something in the past to betray your trust or someone else has done something in the past to betray your trust. Either way it’s a trust issue.

If it’s someone else has done something in the past to you and he is the reason that you are concerned about this boyfriend who’s never done anything wrong, then just let it go and remind yourself that he’s a different guy and you need to trust him unless he gives you a reason not to.

If he has done something to betray your trust and you can’t let go of that then maybe it’s time to let go of him

If you feel the need to snoop, the trust is gone. Why are you with someone you don’t trust?

No, he changed it because you went through his phone LOL

It could be because he has something to hide or it could be because you violated his privacy even if he had nothing to hide. Some people are inherently more private than others. That doesn't make them guilty. But sometimes they are. There's no real way to tell.

Does anything other than the phone lockout cause you to worry? If it's just that then I think you need to work on your trust issues. If other things have you worked you need to talk about them with him.

Communication can be difficult. But once you get into the habit it can be very powerful.

A contemporary cellphone is like a diary to me - it is a private space. If someone tried to pry, they would be out of my life. Love includes trust and communication.

If trust is not there, it is not healthy for either.

To try to access and manage or control another is not love, but an attempt to possess.

I think it's time for an apology and you two need to sit down and start opening up the right way. Trust issues and/or finding out about their past isn't going to be settled by go through his phone.

If you went through his phone you should know he doesn't. And if you went through his phone he feels violated and doesn't trust you the same as he did before.

I'm not sure but he definitely doesn't want you to get into his phone again. What made you feel like you needed to look through his phone?

Simply ask him for new passcode. He might have changed it due to some other reason. Don't assume anything without proper communication.

Communication gap is the major cause of many breakups.

He definitely doesn't trust you, and may have something to hide but might not. Careful or you'll get addicted to conflict in romance. It's so toxic

I'm not sure anything would convince you even if all conversations were about knitting patterns and recipes

I mean if he were to behave the same way would you find that acceptable ? Reasonable ? Understandable ?

Modern social media enables some people (or more truthfully, everybody) to present whatever style of character they want to be online.
And the fact that it's with strangers (as far as most of us know) means we can present the very best ideal of ourselves.
Even if in the 'real world', that's not who we really are.

Maybe it's that he wouldn't want you to discover

Sounds fishy to me
The hub gave me all of his passwords and codes just incase anything ever happens to him.

Why would you go through his phone? I’m sure he did not appreciate you snooping. Why should he trust you after you did that?

Maybe both, but the fact that it is driving you crazy tells me that this relationship is doomed.

Why are violating his 4th amendment right? Right to privacy

why you wanna go thru his phone psycho?.

Didn't you ask this three days ago?

If you're curious about something, simply ask him.

I don't have anything to hide, but I would be miffed if someone invaded my privacy, instead of asking me.

It tells me that we don't trust each other.

In a trusting relationship you should be able to see the other's phone but never need to see it.
If you feel the need to see his phone:
A) end the relationship. OR
B) Seek counseling for your issues

Bank info , Personal thoughts and messages etc.
Do you think Because you are dating him it means he should give you access to all of his personal info?

I wouldn’t trust someone who isn’t going to be transparent. I have no problem with a boyfriend having my passcodes because I never have anything to hide.

He doesn't want to have to constantly think that you might be snooping. Lock the door or keep it open entirely.
Is he hiding something? Maybe, maybe not.

@amessand28 does he know you have been cheking up on him then do you think . you only have suspicions really no proof as you have no access

Whether he gave you reason to do that or not, you have more to worry about than him changing his passcode...

He's only trying to protect you from dangerous knowledge that you are not yet prepared to assimilate.

Why in the world WOULD he trust you after that?

If he told you before you could look, and you did, then leaning to hiding something....

And how would you like it if he went through your phone without your permission☹☹

It's his device - you have no right to be going through it.

Oh yeah. He’s here talking to other women

🤔...........Maybe he has a burner phone it hide stuff.......

What gave you the right to “ go through his phone “?

Certainly is hiding something

That is invading his privacy