Me arriving at work 20 minutes late, knowing full well nobody will say anything to me because I do the work of 3 people. 😉 PINNED (1)
When I see new shoes I always think “lush new shoes” and never “walking short distances in those is going to be excruciating.”One day I’ll learn.
I know violence isn’t big or clever. But..That one time I’m was followed home from the the train station by a smackhead, and my husband came running out of the house armed with a mop handle - I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to see someone.
Tattooists get tested for hygiene but not for their art skills. And that’s why people are walking around with seriously hilarious ink. (1)
Musk and Bezos should save time and money and get a doctor to measure their willies and declare who's is the biggest. Both will be tiny, obviously.
Slipknot and Nirvana said they made it in Britain before the US. I didn’t believe it so I did the google thing.Apparently it’s because we are less religious, bands in the US get Bible camp demonstrations protesting against them at their gigs. Whereas us Brits just care if the riffs are good. Corey Taylor said we invented metal genre thanks to Black... See More »
Work drinks that were supposed to only last an hour lasted four. Time to order a fishbowl and text an ex
Imagine if life came with a HUD, like you have in gaming.Maybe if it could tell you how people felt about you; when you’ve said too much, or not enough. Or if it could tell you when they needed help but dared not ask. If it could tell you how drunk you really are that would be handy. 😂 For example I foun... See More »
This storm is wild. There’s a complete shed roof just flown by the house.A kindly neighbour has made space in his garage so I can fit my car in there too to prevent damage from flying objects.
I wanted to change the Indian takeaway we use because we stopped getting free popadoms with our order.But crumbs in my husband’s car led to the outrageous discovery that he’s been eating them when collecting our food. Since 2022. I feel like I’ve just uncovered the truth about Area 51. He’s a dead man…
Bill Burr must be on SW. He knows what people have been saying about the LA fires, almost word for word. (1)
Since the Great Argument of 1998, the game monopoly is banned in my family.I remember playing with my Christmas toys in my room, and coming down stairs for more chocolate to find the board flipped over and all the pieces and paper money scattered all over the room. And all the adults were in different rooms to each other or... See More » (1)
Its undocumented and I will refute it until sufficient evidence is found, but apparently I broke my hug-a-stranger recorded on Saturdays binge.Ella said the old man in the mobility scooter was particularly happy about it. Like maybe his family had disowned him, and drunk me stepped out of a bar, asked her for directions and hugged my way into his life. Also I found raffle tickets in my... See More »
Another girls night, out another hangover, another £150, another aftertaste of vodka cranberry, another snowy train home.Olivia is wearing my spare underwear because she forgot. But she’s the size of four Morvorens so I’m not sure how comfortable they are.
The conspiracy going around the office is that Diddy was trying to burn evidence in LA and it got out of hand…
I hope you all had a good Christmas. It looks like SW was busy as normal over the holidays. I guess it was something to do while trying to digest all…that roast turkey.🙂
