Me arriving at work 20 minutes late, knowing full well nobody will say anything to me because I do the work of 3 people. 😉 PINNED (1)
Th good thing about living in an area with poor mobile network coverage, is that the stupid shit on the internet mostly stays on the internet. (3)
Monday to Friday I like to cosplay as someone who has got their shit together. But every weekend out pops the truth…I might be holding a laptop and lanyard most of the week. But it’s guaranteed to be replaced with a large glass of rum and a seafood skewer given enough time and pressure.
I went back to the first DM I ever got here. It was a guy asking me what the circumference of my areoles was.And I decided to stick around? Maybe I’d been drinking.
There’s dolphins in the river!🐬 This never used to happen. I guess it’s a sign the seas are getting warmer, but god they’re cute. 🥰Harbour seals we get all the time, but dolphins are cute newcomers. I couldn’t really get a good pic on the ferry.
My coworker has got WagonWheel sandwiches.So that’s marshmallow and jam, covered in chocolate, between two slices of buttered bread. It could be the source of their dark sense of humour. Should I call the Samaritans helpline on their behalf, poor thing?
Men are weird. We ran out of shower gel, I caught my fella washing himself in the stuff we used to wash dishes.Go to the shop ffs.🤷🏼♀️
Tomorrow I need to teach a new starter how to do a job role I’m desperately trying to leave myself.Troublesome.
The Falklands war ended 42 years ago, but still Dad likes blowing things up.He just handed my husband a lit firework giggling like a toddler.
Azerbijan has an election this year, let’s talk about that…just for a change. 🇦🇿I wonder if their candidates are two useless old geriatrics?
As a billionaire I’d absolutely leave crop circles and mirror towers all over the world, knowing the simple hill folk will think its aliens or Jesus.Messing with peasants would be a full time hobby. (1)
My favourite thing during all-hands meetings is estimating how much it costs in salaries for us all to be there.Current record is £50,000. For one hour of utter time-wasting bollocks
Now we are used to cookies etc, can streaming channels recognise what I’ve already seen, and bloody stop interrupting shows with the same ads please.Cheers awfully.
My niece and nephew are coming to stay for a week in August. 🥰The kids get a week of beaches, fairgrounds and rides, I get my maternal fix, and my brother gets to go to the Med with his wife. Total result.
Doorbell cams are nothing to do with security and everything to do with your neighbours laughing at you drunkenly trying to find your keys at 3am.
U.K. election voting options.Tories - They don’t care about you and no idea how to run a country but will make themselves rich and buy titles. Labour - They don’t care about you and no idea how to run a country but will say positive progressive and inclusive things on TV. Re... See More »
Biker gangs all wearing matching jackets has the same vibe as little girls wearing homemade friendship bracelets.