Husband interested in men

First, the two of you need to sit down and have a discussion, without egos, without judgement and with love. The question is, do you really love him? Do you really care for him? Do you want to save your marriage? Can you love him no matter what, he might tell you? Do you love him enough to want him to be happy and be fulfilled even if that means it isn’t with you? Or what if he has been hiding the desire to be with a man, but also wants and loves you?… which is what it sounds like, if he is begging you to not leave him. Only the two of you can decide where your relationship will go, but I’m here to tell you if you cannot set your ego aside so he can feel safe in telling you exactly how he feels, then it is a lost cause. He is most likely not telling you because he already feels judged by you. Set your ego and judgement aside and have a heart to heart talk. Find out what he is really thinking. What his desires are. Has he always felt this way and just suppressed it? Then what does he need from you to help him feel fulfilled? What are you willing to do for him? Only you and he can answer that. Coming here and looking for us to give you the answers… well.. as you can see you are receiving a LOT of JUDGEMENTAL responses from people who know nothing about you and your husband. Do you love him? Do you want to stay married to him? What are you willing to accept and do to make that happen? If you do love him, then tell him so, and tell him you won’t judge him (but only if you really won’t judge him). If I had someone being condescending and judgemental about who I am, I wouldn’t reveal my inner most thoughts to that person either, so consider your actions and how your actions might be making him close himself up and not tell you how he feels and what his desires are. Stop looking to us to give you the answers, because we sure as hell can’t. Sit down and talk with him with love in your heart and listen to him and stop being worried whether he is gay or bi or whatever. Open your heart and be with him and find out what he needs and then decide whether it is something you can live with or if it is something you can’t. This is the problem we have in this world of people judging and fitting people into a box where society thinks they should be. As long as he feels you are doing that he won’t open up. I wish you luck because by the sound of your post, I suspect you have already judged him and won’t be open to anything he might have to say, so this is already doomed. But prove me wrong. Step up and show him how much you love and care for him.

Regardless of his sexual orientation. That’s just plain disrespectful. He could be gay, bi, straight, he shouldn’t be on dating sites while being married to you tf 💀. Use your judgment ,woman.

Maybe bi would be a better description... That side of him may have always been there or just a recent thing.

I can understand it being hard, but what's the rest of the relationship like.. Is it worth throwing away?

I have spoken to many straight, married men on these sites and it would appear many men are going down this route these days. They see it as a outlet for sexual satisfaction as many are not getting it from their current partners. The typical story is that the wife went off sex after childbirth or they have let themselves go and are no longer seen as attractive. Seeking pleasure with other men for many is often the only source of pleasure as there is generally no strings attached to it. I confess I have a regular man friend with whom I have fun with. I'm not not gay but you could say I'm a bit bi. I'm not really attracted to men, my attraction will always be towards women.

Sweetie, it sounds like he's very curious at the moment. I have had a fair few IM's from men that start with 'Hi, i'm not gay but....', and from what I have gathered from what they've said (and I don't know why they are asking me for this as I am really not interested in that!) that they want to understand what it feels to be penetrated, anally...

So....in light of your husband, what you need is a good ol' chat together, to be honest and open...and, if this is something that he feels that would be something that is sexual to him, you might - if you yourself feel like it would be an option for you...and, may I stress that relationships are about trust and not about being pushed into doing anything that you find uncomfortable - look into what they call 'pegging'..

Now, pegging is where the woman wears a phallic penis (usually on a belt or on pants) and can penetrate her partner with it (lubrication, as any anal sex exploits, would be desirable) for sex like another man. Now, as I understand - peeps, fill me in if I am wrong - some of these penis' have the other end of them that are suppose to pleasure the wearer too...

So....that may well be an option, sweetie...

I wish you well...

😘

sounds like he is or at the very least bi

In my opinion, you should ask yourself a few questions.

*Is he honest, even despite the potential consequences?
*Is he a person of integrity?
*Does he live to maximize every moment?
*Does he want to share those moments with you?
*Does he try to control his own vices?
*Is he trustworthy, even in the face of temptation?
*Is he a good parent/step-parent?
*Does he help provide a secure and loving home?
*Does he have a balanced disposition?
*If his character were attacked, would his character be easy to defend?
*Does his life have value?
*Does he have your back, no matter what?
*Is he a good man?

I’m not saying that this list of questions should make any decisions for you. It’s just something you might want to consider. Good luck!

It's possible that he is simply curious and exploring his boundaries. It doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't still love you.

If you figure it out let us know. I’ve done the same thing your husband has. My earliest sexual experience was being what I now realize was being sexually assaulted by older boys. Back in the day we didn’t discuss these things. I was totally confused by the experience at the time. I’m stuck with the attraction of sex with other men. The ability to anonymously connect online and act out any sexual fantasy is very attractive.

He could be bi.

Probably not gay but certainly bi or bi-curious Either way he is dissatisfied with monogamous sex. If the marriage is worth saving get yourselves into counseling. If not, then just move on and take care of yourself
Sad situation

Welcome to SW

I believe you husband's curiosity is catching up with him.

I think he wants to hang on to you, because your safe and trust you

But at the same time, I also think he is trying to find a man to sleep with

Basically he is getting ready to cheat of you with another man

You have some real serious thinking to do.

Do you want him to stay part of the family and stay separated in your home. ( meaning you don't divorce, just live together and he goes off and have dates with men)

He seems Bisexual to me, there's nothing wrong with that and should be honest with you and himself about it .

Bi curious possibly.
Maybe he doesn’t feel that he is being satisfied at home or maybe it’s a fantasy that he wants to finally fulfill

If this is really true, I'm truly very sorry and the deceit is so damaging to a family. It looks like he can't control this compulsion.
😔

He’s at the very least Bi. And he probably can’t answer you because we don’t choose what attracts us. It just is.

He is probably Bi and just does not want to admit it.
You should probably tell him to come clean if he wants to stay married.

Ok I do think this is a problem. In terms of your relationship. I wish you luck with this.

Probably not what you want to hear

Maybe you should peg him

So is he actually going thru with it or just playing out fantasies ? Have you ever suspected he might swing that way?

I would say he is bi or bi curious. As far as signing up for a CD site as Gabby...I think it may be a fantasy for him. Not sure. I myself am a bi married CD. My wife knows but doesn't want to know if I do anything.

At least bi I would think. I’m not curiously bi at all. He may be just curious. I have never been curious. Just saying my opinion

We are all on out own separate journey in life, he should have asked you if you were open before he married you.

He may be bi just be there for him, society has made being lgbtqia+ such a stigma for his generation so he may have just found an aspect of his life he needs fullfilled that you are physically incapable of fixing...

perhaps the term is bi-curious

well and perhaps he would be ok with you being curious about other men too ;)

maybe just wants to try it you never know it may repulse him once he has experimented

The reason is he is gay. Nothing wrong with that except he is married to you. I am sorry but he is not really confused. He wants to be with a man. It's cheating no matter how you look at it . Sorry my friend

He is damaged and likely wont walk a strait line now ,

Talk with him. ask him if he wants a man in his life then leave him. otherwise you will hurt yourself emotionally. If you know your spouse is sexually involved with some one else either man or woman it is a disaster

He likes men

Go out and find a guy with a big cock.Bring the guy home and let you hubby watch you get fucked .When you’re done make him clean the big cock s the guy jambs it down his throat.

He sounds in denial that definitely he's either bi or gay, but regardless he's betraying you.

I think in order to spice up his sex life, he moved to gay porn and eventually he liked it. I think he is bisexual, but still he should admit it to you and work things out with you

Dress up like a lumberjack for him

could be he has found out that he Bi sexual.Is he still interested in you sexually.

only he can say if he is gay ,, but they are right to be there with you not knowing that is cheating different if you where ok and knew about it ,,

Is he still having sex with you or has that stopped?

he may be just Bi Curious testing the water and checking he's not missing out on something , however he could be gay and unable to ignore his gay side , who knows what anyone is really like ?

It's not to say if he has a fantasy or even act out on it he is gay. He may be craving the same things you do, like sucking lollipop. Why should you have all the fun and if you like doing bj's, why should he not be allowed to like it too? It is wrong in marriage, even outside of a marriage relationship to have same-sex encounters, but we are all human and we all have our weaknesses and desires etc. Maybe he wants you to have a great time too, participating in mmf bi with him. He could have a medical issue too, like a heart disease which makes it hard for him to please you in bed, thereby him trying some roundabout way to make you happy as you will have needs as well, him trying to make up for his short-comings. There are many factors at play in his life. Maybe you should talk about it more, and be open more to each other's feelings. It is not easy to explain sexual urges, passions and lusts to one's wife.

Show interest to your husband's a$$, finger his hole, or slap his butt and you will enjoy great sex.

A lot of wankers (i.e. porn and masturbation addicts) switch to porn of opposite orientation to keep their dopamine hits high - goes for gay switching to straight porn too. Also online interactions and personas can seep into reality because (stupid) people start believing themselves to be the fake persona they create online. Put the two together and before you know it he'll be waving his arse around to be penetrated. Sorry... Porn's a slippery slope and can destroy relationships with shit like this. Read the book "Your Brain on Porn" for full details.

Who knows? The only solution I can offer is to do what I do. I don't associate with anyone. There is no short supply of weirdos, creepos, and sexos out there, and if you do find someone sexually normal, they turn out to be crazy.

If he is gay what will you do about it?

He may not be gay he may just be curious be bisexual you should let him explore one time maybe try a threesome with another man

Stop the anal sex,he’s liking it too much

I am a happily married man and I would say it is time to get rid of him. Biggest reason is if he is having anything to do with gay guys then you certainly do not want him passing on any permanent diseases. I would give the same answer to ladies with husbands that frequent prostitutes.

Haha your story is the holy grail of gay fantasy! Outing or corrupting a straight man😂

Lmao this is insane 🤣🤣🤣 sorry i understand it sucks for you, sadly theres nothing to do but get a divorce or scare him into never ever doing it again