What is a defense mechanism you have that you want to change?

Avoiding doing things I should be doing since they are hard and I want the easy way out.

And a thing often is "hard" to me because it makes me have to try new things, or deal with people, or some administrative thing.

In contrast, I have less worry about mental challenges like hard math or science, or even physical challenges like long walks.

But calling some business to set up an appointment, or filling out a form, or even cleaning my apartment regularly, are challenges to me. I cringe.

I am having car trouble and it has ruined my weekend. I have been stuck at home today and have to wait until tomorrow to take it in. I do not know what to expect. I have to take off work. It is all stressing me out. I can't sleep and feel ill.

Letting others take care of me. I kind of felt from a young age that I had to look out for myself because there was never anybody I could truly rely on to do that for me so I have done just that. So when someone does try I don’t know whether I don’t trust them to be enough or I’m just so used to being in control of myself it’s difficult to let go of the reins.

You are right.
There are IMO some aspects of jargon that may cary ambiguous meanings.
Some reactions, beyond the inner individual factors, are certainly not a defense whithin the social rality and, as you´ve said, are self defeating.
Of course it´s not so simple to avoid previously learned automatic behaviours, but knowing how they work, as you now do, will help a lot!

Silence can send a message. Just silence. Walk away. If it’s at work it can be particularly effective. In social settings you can assert to them DOnt talk to me. Again end the interaction.

Well this was written for your last post you just got rid of. Lol Here you go......

Yeah, give it a moment to stew over. Do people still say "let things happen organically?"

LOL, just R-E-L-A-X, as Rodgers said during the 2014 season when GB started out with a 1-2 record. Finished the season at 12-4.

Though this really has nothing to do with your messages with the guy. It's still an interesting factoid.

Hm...
Nothing comes to mind...
...
But yeah; you're dealing with a massive burden...I don't think you have any reason to let go of your coping mechanisms...

I don't have one that I would change. Once I start hearing someone being unkind to me their words pretty much go in one ear and out the other and my brain will take over and I'll start thinking about something else and usually that's something else requires me to leave. I just walk away. If they're really annoying I just walk away right away.. then I just never deal with them anymore.

I don't stand up or defend myself at all. I just back down. It's easier than getting into a disagreement with someone.

Yes, that. Humour

Definitely my need to rage/ vent

I like my defence mechanisms tho 🤔

Excessive startle reaction. I come up swinging. One of many.

Being too Blunt!

Start using psychology to reveal the truth about themselves. No one likes that.

I get quiet. If I get too quiet, shit is going down. And the responsible party owns it.😉