What is a defense mechanism you have that you want to change?

I will often laugh and joke with people when they're being unkind to me or sarcastic etc..instead of being assertive and saying my feelings, I just laugh or return with a slight sarcasm joke. This feels very defeating and I'm tired of acting like something is ok when it's not.

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Primnproper · 56-60, F

Letting others take care of me. I kind of felt from a young age that I had to look out for myself because there was never anybody I could truly rely on to do that for me so I have done just that. So when someone does try I don’t know whether I don’t trust them to be enough or I’m just so used to being in control of myself it’s difficult to let go of the reins.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@Primnproper Same actually. Or I also feel I don't want them to help too much or resent me, so I try to say, I'm all set, when many times I did need help or a hug etc 🙁

Primnproper · 56-60, F

@Coralmist I know, it’s strange because I’m a loving affectionate person but sometimes I almost feel cold and closed off.