What is a defense mechanism you have that you want to change?

I will often laugh and joke with people when they're being unkind to me or sarcastic etc..instead of being assertive and saying my feelings, I just laugh or return with a slight sarcasm joke. This feels very defeating and I'm tired of acting like something is ok when it's not.

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ElRengo · 70-79, M

You are right.
There are IMO some aspects of jargon that may cary ambiguous meanings.
Some reactions, beyond the inner individual factors, are certainly not a defense whithin the social rality and, as you´ve said, are self defeating.
Of course it´s not so simple to avoid previously learned automatic behaviours, but knowing how they work, as you now do, will help a lot!