What is a defense mechanism you have that you want to change?

I will often laugh and joke with people when they're being unkind to me or sarcastic etc..instead of being assertive and saying my feelings, I just laugh or return with a slight sarcasm joke. This feels very defeating and I'm tired of acting like something is ok when it's not.

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JoyfulSilence · 51-55, M

Avoiding doing things I should be doing since they are hard and I want the easy way out.

And a thing often is "hard" to me because it makes me have to try new things, or deal with people, or some administrative thing.

In contrast, I have less worry about mental challenges like hard math or science, or even physical challenges like long walks.

But calling some business to set up an appointment, or filling out a form, or even cleaning my apartment regularly, are challenges to me. I cringe.

I am having car trouble and it has ruined my weekend. I have been stuck at home today and have to wait until tomorrow to take it in. I do not know what to expect. I have to take off work. It is all stressing me out. I can't sleep and feel ill.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@JoyfulSilence Ugh I HATE phone calls as well. And my room is messy rn with three giant piles of books and papers. I know I need to file away stuff weekly, but when I'm constantly in survival mode, I don't care about neatness. But now I need to chip away at it .ughhh. so yes procrastinating is another mechanism I possess too. Sorry about the car. Just take it one day at a time, Bec what else can you truly do?? Staying in the moment is the only way out of suffering, Eckhart Tolle says. Otherwise it's fruitless worry.

JoyfulSilence · 51-55, M

@Coralmist

I got up really early today, and took slow back roads. It was dark but little traffic. I drove below the speed limit and took my time, slowing at every dip and bump.

The plate under my car in front is sagging, and scraping the road when I hit a bump. Driving slow is the only remedy.

I got to the general location an hour early, mostly so I could stop at Dunkin'. I am now having a quiet breakfast.

I hope it is an easy fix with parts on hand, so I can go straight to work after. Otherwise, I suppose I will have to rent a car. More anxiety and delay.