My husband wants to see me with other men

I wouldn't go through with this. Fantasy is fine, but follow through is not. Role play is nice. Maybe he can watch you use a toy on yourself while he watches. And you act as if it's another guy pleasing you

UPDATE: Thank you everyone for your perspectives and advice on this. My concerns and hesitations turned out to be right, it didn’t take much for him to turn this all against me and create ridiculous drama. This is likely the last straw in my patience with him.

Just wanted to update all as some have asked. I will not share much more openly on this public thread but you can message me if curious.

Thank you again, I truly appreciate all of the feedback I’ve received

I just wanted to thank everyone who took the time to respond with your thoughts, even if I didn’t want to hear some of them I needed to hear all perspectives and it’s all helped me a lot in making a decision! Thank you all so much!!

It's a catch-22, I'm afraid. P*rn has become so accessible that sexual exploration with partners outside of your relationship has practically become like the next food trip.

Once you cross that bridge, there's no telling what it would do to your relationship permanently.

You have all the sound advice you need. He's not coming from a place of love if he insists.

He may want it, but it is 100% your choice. A long discussion is appropriate then go with your gut.

I think it's hot!! My #2 bf has this fantasy too, and we both wanna make it a reality some day.

Only see other men if you want to.You will find willing men very easily and it will definitely be an enjoyable experience for you if you go for it.Depends on your moral values too.I have an open relationship with my boyfriend at my insistance and date other men regularly.I have fwbs.My boyfriend is often not pleased about that but he knew from the beginning of our relationship what he was signing up for.

A man that lets you have pleasure with other men? Where do I sign up

On the other hand, if you're uncomfortable even if in a place of love you got to stick to yourself. Because that's a guaranteed divorce if you're not with it. If that's not you, don't pretend like it is. I think if you're married to him and he treats you well then it's probably coming from a genuine place but on the other hand, boundaries too.

1. Understand how it can effect your feelings of emotions & love that you relate with the being(soul), finally affecting your sense of a woman/dignity in yourself.
2. If you agree to be with other men, you can't later stop him going to other women, if later he wishes to, think how can it affect your married life.
3. Remember, it's irreversible act, and everything will not be same as it used to be. Think about love & emotional part of your relationship apart from the sex.

This is not an easy thing to do.
If this is just his fantasy it could be bad in the long term if he starts feeling jealous/bad about it. In that case this is not good for your relationship.
But if this is something he has been longing for (which some people do because of various reasons), then it could be a good thing for both of you.
You need to understand the reasoning behind his thoughts before you decide for or against it.
Whatever decision you take ... I hope is for the best of both of you.
Good Luck.

If you decide to go ahead, make sure it's because it's what you want... Any doubts on your part is a red flag

Once you make sure that it is not his way of trying to get you to suggest that he can be with other women if you are with other men, then maybe do a test run with some flirting and possibly light fondling one night when t you go out together, like to a club.

Honestly speaking , if your having even the slightest doubt... its a very bad idea. Within the safe confines of a Marriage There are two types of fantasies to play out -

The Real ..or the Make believe. Difference is " real can never be unseen or undone ...

Make believe you both get deeply involved ..enjoy , keep, or discard and move on to the next idea. All it takes is a really good imagination. Joyful experiences shared and not the slightest harm done .

Your husband ought to respect the fact that you dont wish to have sex with other men. Instead he should be encouraged to relay in detail to you his ' fantasy ' discuss it while you role play ..encourage him to let it all out , play with the outcome .. over time many different scenarios.

Until its an harmless act .. which as completely fulfiled its purpose.

Having persevered your dignity & enhanced your Marriage.
Please dont take the lazy way out , but getting other men / or persons involved.

Theres really no need

I often see these "fantasies" posted by guys and I always think - "OK, thats your fantasy but how does your wife feel about it ?". Personally, I don't understand the motivation for the guy - I am definitely missing something here !!

I read a article in a newspaper about a threesome - this was "initially" fully consensual by the man & wife and with a friend. During the act itself the wife became very uncomfortable when the other girl was intimate with her husband. After the event there was a break in trust between the man & wife.

I think you are right to tread very carefully with this. There is a massive gap between fantasy & reality. This act could have long term impact on your relationship.

Read up on real stories not just Internet fantasy.

If you do his I feel he will regret this in the long run.

What does your gut tell you? When you say it comes from a place of love, is that your head wanting to believe it, so as not to disappoint him, or is it your gut instinct?

While it is not for me to judge. To give yourself to another man, for the sexual pleasure of your husband seems wrong, and how would you feel about yourself afterwards. It’s also something once done can never be undone.

I am an OG, so maybe my views are out of step with the modern world. But I would never ask my woman, nor want her to share that most intimate of acts….to share her body….with another man.

Simple answer. Don't do it. Why on earth does he want to see you with other men? When you married, did his vows include, "And I want my wife to have sex with other men,"?
It isn't coming from love, it's coming from his selfish kink to see you service other guys you don't even know.

You should sit down with him and tell him your concerns and y’all talk it out maybe y’all can come to a agreement

I have known 3 couples who have done this none of them are still together. Proceed with caution.

Most couples have a hard time talking about sex. So, extra points for your husband being brave enough and loving you enough to share with you his desire to watch other men having sex with you. It's very likely that he wants this for your pleasure as well as for his own. You already said that this was coming from a place of love. I feel that you are dwelling on unfounded fears when you should consider how much pleasure both of you could get. Be as brave as your husband has been with you. Give it a try, and, if you don't like it, you don't have to do it again. But, you'll never know unless you try it. I hope you'll keep us posted on how this plays out.

Just make ABSOLUTELY SURE your relationship is strong and stable before committing to this.....

Oh god, why did you marry somebody like this

It is totally your choice, please don't feel pressured or obligated. It will change everything if brought to fruition, you can't go back. Open communication and discussion is important.

Make him invite his friends over for a party and try mingling freely amidst them. Just tell them in advance that you may go away in case you feel uncomfortable. If they treat you well and handle you with care and dignity, you will on your own relax and settle.

You don't have to do anything you don't want to.

But if you are worried about his feelings and damaged ego, try a little kissing in front of him first....with some one YOU feel attracted to but within pre agreed limits.

Gauge how he reacts to it. Also you may have unanticipated emotions.

It, in the end, is your decision.

Talk to your husband about how you feel, why he wants to share you, and what effects it may have (either doing it or not) on your relationship.

Write down pros and cons of each option (swinging or not swinging) and score them. Also ask yourself: do YOU want this or not. Are YOU willing to do this or not.

Just take your time to consider it. There's no rush.

you should ask him what he likes about the idea, so you can understand where it's coming from. some men enjoy this type of thing, because it shows them that their partner is considered sexually attractive by others too, and it validates their opinion basically.

@metamorphosis basically you want too know what is involved and there is no weird stuff if you consider it and think no that is your privelege

It's not an unusual fantasy, but it has to ok for you as well.

Is there a sign up sheet? How does this work?

I can’t grasp how it is coming from love. I’ve not done anything like this but I think once you take that step your relationship won’t ever be the same. And these days he is asking you to take a risk with your health. I would think this out very carefully. Short term thrill (for him) Long term consequences (for you)

Don't do anything like this until you are absolutely sure. You and him may love it, but I have also heard of cases where a guy will want to see that kind of thing but then get jealous that the girl enjoyed it a lot. You may want to try taking baby steps to slowly test the waters.

Some people have that fetish for some reason. If you're uneasy about the idea, then don't do it.

I've seen posts from women that enjoy it - and appreciate their husband's allowing them to be with other men.

But here's the thing - they want to do it.

If you aren't saying "yup, wanna try it" in your head when he talks about it - don't.

it's your body and you have the right to do it or not do it. if you feel like he's pressuring you - tell him to back off.

let is stew in your head and if you decide you like the idea try it

I've also seen posts where women have tried it and didn't like the experience.

So again - if your heart and mind isn't into it (or any other sexual activity) - don't.

no matter how erotic it sounds, i dont think I would ever want to see my wife with another man

There’s a big difference between fantasy and reality. You might try role play first with a toy. You might also suggest you like it better because your imaginary man is bigger. See how he handles that.

Don’t do it. Don’t let him pimp you out.That’s not love . If he keeps it up showing him the door and change the locks.

You should talk with my lady and I. I am like your husband and she is a little timid in that aspect. But very fun and loves what’s she’s getting to learn and wants to get another woman’s opinion like you.

No loving husband will want his wife he claims to love to be intimate with another man...

He obviously doesn't love you....he just enjoys the fantasy of you being used by other man

And also there's a possibility of he doing same with other women

Some men think its a turn on when he thinks about it but sometimes when it happens he thinks differently......but yes we do sometimes have those fantasies

So many people with advice.... *ugh*

From love? You are married. He just wants to get off on it. And jealousy will likely happen. A can of worms. Are you sure you want to do this? Once you get into it, everything changes. The fantasy clashes with reality. Try discussing your expectations and his. Why does he want this for starters? I find swingers on the whole to be rather slimy. Just an excuse to cheat.

Talk about it more,ask him what he gets out of it and likes about it

The simple answer, @metamorphosis is to let him see you with another man - PERMANENTLY!

Set rules. We didn't and it was a slippery slope.

I believe that he is serious