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NovaNine

51-55, M

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In pursuit of the higher horse.

A horse not just any horse but a high horse. To sit on a high horse is to be superior to be above all. Yes? Arrogantly sitting there nose turned up to the sky refusing to look down below. Refusing to get off said horse as they are too good to touch...

I'm rusty behind the wheel and it shows.

I borrowed my dad's car to go somewhere. I haven't had my own car in a few years. I used to be a pretty decent driver when I drove regularly. I was at a blinking red in the turn lane and it appeared clear. It was hard for me to be 100% sure as cars...

I know it and you know I'm never going to be able to be clean.

How many times have I tried? How many times was I actually successful? How long was it until I relapsed for the millionth time? I'd be lying to myself and everyone else if I said it were entirely possible to become entirely clean. Perhaps I'm insane...

Family dinners yay or nay?

People are supposed to be coming over tonight and I'm not feeling it. I don't want to deal with the monster in law. I'm still not feeling well and just don't feel like putting on a smile tonight. Stanarchy is making swedish meatballs and the smell is...

I should have said something long ago to her.

I have a friend who will always hold a special place in my heart. We met in 1995 though mutual friends. We instantly hit it off and became fast friends. She's just so rad and we share a lot of the same interests. I was elated to find someone who's...

These chills are back with vengeance.

These feel worse than yesterday's chills. It's the type of cold where it feels as if you are being submerged into a frozen lake. The nausea has also returned and brought along his friends headache and fatigue. I've not been productive at all today....

Remember that old 80s commercial with the eggs?

There was a commercial in the 80s that depicted eggs in a frying pan. It said this is your brain on drugs while the eggs sizzled away. I always had a problem with that commerical. I don't like my eggs raw so why should my brain be you know? I'm...

For those who have never had children why or why not?

I made that decision long ago to be childless because I didn't think I could raise a child. I think I'm better as an uncle than I would be a father. Children deserve stability and a chance at a great life. I'm not stable and I could never give them...

I haven't really slept the past fews days and I feel zombified.

Between the lack of sleep, a persistent cough and whatever the heck happened last night it's safe to say I feel zombielike. Last night I ended up throwing up repeatedly and the nausea didn't really fade away. Normally throwing up takes care of that...

I had a job interview today and it got me thinking. Have you ever declined a job offer after the interview or declined to attend a secondary interview

I interviewed at a place earlier in the week and it got me thinking about my experience and how many others have been in my shoes. I walk in roughly 10 minutes to spare and head up to the front to let the staff know who I was and what I was here for....

There are so many things I want to say to this kid.

I'm at my dad's place and have been looking at old things around the house that are bringing back memories. I was young once and thought I knew everything. I even thought I had it all figured out like the world was the plot of a highly predictable...

Do you have any nicknames for your parents?

I've never been able to come up with anything creative for my mom her name is tricky. My dads name is stan and when i was in my teens I dubbed him Stanarchy. Lesser known variants were Stanarchist or Stantichrist. To this day I call him Stanarchy....

Who else found school to be boring and unchallenging?

I'm not sure how school's are these days as I went to school in the 70s and 80s. School bored me to death. I spent half the time doodling or writing in a notebook. I wanted to drop out in 10th grade but my parents refused to let that happen. I showed...

Finding a job at my age is pretty tough.

I'm 56 later this year and trying to find a job at this age is no picnic. Coupled with a slight physical disability "the half a thumb problem" it's been challenging. There's got to be something I can do out there it's finding it that's the tough...

I inadvertently caused WW3.

For context I've had a rough past few years and as a result I'm living in my little brothers garage. It's my fault entirely as to why I'm there but that's for another day. Before things went sideways this afternoon my brother had shown me a...

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