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Moonsofmars
18-21, F
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AAAAAAAHHHH
WHy does everyone keep talking to me about how they count calories and have stopped eating…. Like my closest friends who have known I was anorexic for a year and it made me stop talking to all of them and drop out of school??? I know it sounds so sel...
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Ruining everything
I’m a shit girlfriend a shit friend and a shit daughter. It would be better if I wasn’t here but if I wasn’t I would ruin everyone’s life. But being here is ruining everything too. I wish I’d never been born
Bad memories
I hate that out of all the lovely people I have met the one that’s on my mind the most is the person that treated me the worst. It’s been two years and I still think about him every day. He hurt me more than I’ve ever been hurt by anyone but I still ...
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It’s so unfair
I didn’t think my friend talking about how they haven’t eaten all day really upset me too much but it’s all I can think about this morning and I just keep crying. I don’t know why, I guess it’s because they kept saying it like it was a boast or somet...
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Never mind
Never mind all my positive feelings, the person I’m staying with just had a party and is telling everyone in the party everyone I’ve said to them in confidence just to have a joke. Also just outed someone at the party as trans to fill silence. Also k...
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Away from home
Spending the most time away from home that I ever have since my illness. I’ve had my meals and snacks by myself and am having fun normally. This is awesome! I forgot life could be like this!
Body image
My body image is trash. I see myself like 3 different ways. I hate the way I look. I did before and now I’ve recovered I do again. I hated how I looked when I was thin I hate how I look now. My boyfriend’s coming home from holiday and I’m terrified a...
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I am selfish
I hate the amount that I talk. I just go on and on and I hate it. Nobody needs to hear what I’m talking about. I wish I would just shut up.
Why I don’t leave the house except for work
I leave the house for therapy and I get back to my room and literal drawers from my cupboard are on the floor. My parents don’t trust me so much that they ransack my room when I am out lol.
I went shopping
Today I went shopping with my mother. I was feeling very bad as recently I have been feeling very bad about myself and I had just been with my treatment team. My mother said I had to get new shoes because my shoes were coming off at the soles and she...
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It’s hard to keep going
I’ve managed to get to the stage in my anorexia recovery where I just know that I need food, so I get it. However my head has been creeping back in recently, focusing on pictures of myself I have seen and saying that I am too big and shouldn’t eat. I...
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Am I overreacting?
I’m Mars and I have suffered from anorexia for a year. I’ve recently been doing really well in recovery, I’ve gained the weight back and been eating things I have been scared to eat. Before and during my anorexia I would always compare myself to my s...
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