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Moonsofmars

18-21, F

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WHy does everyone keep talking to me about how they count calories and have stopped eating…. Like my closest friends who have known I was anorexic for a year and it made me stop talking to all of them and drop out of school??? I know it sounds so sel...

Ruining everything

I’m a shit girlfriend a shit friend and a shit daughter. It would be better if I wasn’t here but if I wasn’t I would ruin everyone’s life. But being here is ruining everything too. I wish I’d never been born

I hate that out of all the lovely people I have met the one that’s on my mind the most is the person that treated me the worst. It’s been two years and I still think about him every day. He hurt me more than I’ve ever been hurt by anyone but I still ...

It’s so unfair

I didn’t think my friend talking about how they haven’t eaten all day really upset me too much but it’s all I can think about this morning and I just keep crying. I don’t know why, I guess it’s because they kept saying it like it was a boast or somet...

Never mind all my positive feelings, the person I’m staying with just had a party and is telling everyone in the party everyone I’ve said to them in confidence just to have a joke. Also just outed someone at the party as trans to fill silence. Also k...

Spending the most time away from home that I ever have since my illness. I’ve had my meals and snacks by myself and am having fun normally. This is awesome! I forgot life could be like this!

My body image is trash. I see myself like 3 different ways. I hate the way I look. I did before and now I’ve recovered I do again. I hated how I looked when I was thin I hate how I look now. My boyfriend’s coming home from holiday and I’m terrified a...

I hate the amount that I talk. I just go on and on and I hate it. Nobody needs to hear what I’m talking about. I wish I would just shut up.

Why I don’t leave the house except for work

I leave the house for therapy and I get back to my room and literal drawers from my cupboard are on the floor. My parents don’t trust me so much that they ransack my room when I am out lol.

I went shopping

Today I went shopping with my mother. I was feeling very bad as recently I have been feeling very bad about myself and I had just been with my treatment team. My mother said I had to get new shoes because my shoes were coming off at the soles and she...

It’s hard to keep going

I’ve managed to get to the stage in my anorexia recovery where I just know that I need food, so I get it. However my head has been creeping back in recently, focusing on pictures of myself I have seen and saying that I am too big and shouldn’t eat. I...

Am I overreacting?

I’m Mars and I have suffered from anorexia for a year. I’ve recently been doing really well in recovery, I’ve gained the weight back and been eating things I have been scared to eat. Before and during my anorexia I would always compare myself to my s...

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