This is for the men. What's the biggest red flag in a relationship for you?

Harsh much

You’re a red flag

I wouldn’t want to date a single father either, but it’s not a red flag to be a parent?? Wtf. Lmao it’s just a choice to not want to date a single parent.

Not wanting to date a parent because you're not ready or willing for the responsibility of a child or want your own biological children etc is fine but thinking and talking of other beings that way is strange and off-putting

Given your feelings about it, you're doing her a favor. And that's fine.

lots of ill will in response to this one, for someone who is just indicating his preference.....

Being a single parent isn't a red flag, but there's nothing wrong with not wanting that for yourself. I don't either. I'm at a point in my life where I'd ignore any and all red flags anyway, but if they talk down to me or don't take my feelings seriously, that's a no-brainer.

When men ghost or the communication goes weird. I do not play those fuckin games I am not an option. You don't get to weigh me along with your other options. this isn't the bachelor. It's disrespectful and speaks volumes about how that person views other people specifically women. Humans are not trash or parts, you don't get to discard or replace them.

I think a red flag is usually considered to be something that indicates that the person you are dating has some sort of personality disorder, or that they are otherwise likely to become abusive towards you. It's not just a situation you wish to avoid.

FWIW: Having dated quite a few single mothers in my younger days, I may disagree with the way you worded that, but I tend to agree.

That being said, here is the why.
-Some people, especially younger people are just not interested in being parents at their age. It means that they have to plan their 'experiences' around a child's (or children's) schedules.
-The costs to raise a child today are ever increasing. Some articles are now mentioning >300K to get a kid from infancy through the age of 18. Having "step kids" is GREAT if you can afford it, but it takes away from your 'perceived' ability to procreate your own. IE: "I struggle but we get by with 2 kids. However, I want one of my own and he/she already has 2 so how do I do this."
-Let's face it. When you date a single parent (no matter the sex).... you are going to be second fiddle to his/her existing children. The child's needs and wants come first (AS IT SHOULD BE!). Unfortunately, we have a lot of [b]"deadbeat dads"[/b] in our society. So the single parent either picks up the financial slack.... or his/her new significant other does (or contributes a significant amount towards this end). Ask yourself some questions.... who pays for the babysitter when these single parents have a first date? Who pays for the ballet lessons, the baseball camp, the soccer league, the needed braces and the list is endless. If you have a step AND one from your relationship with said single parent, you certainly shouldn't buy YOUR mutual child things that you will not (or cannot) also provide in an equal fashion to your stepchild.
-These are some of the financial things YOU must consider BEFORE you decide to date a single parent.
-Sorry but none of us live in a "FAIRYTALE" World where everything is just hunky-dory.

And then there is the "age" thing (and it applies to both sexes). I recently spoke with an early thirties friend that commented "Why are all the potential guys I meet divorced and paying support?" ANSWER: because you are 'targeting guys in their mid-thirties. Guys who have already had a first marriage and kids."

also, i wanted to comment on what you originally said it appears some people are a little offended but with all due respect we aren't all searching for the same things in life. Perhaps you wouldn't be an ideal father figure for someone else's child and people need to respect that. That obviously means you aren't the one for said person

Realize you said for men, but.

you don't want the responsibility or ready for it yet, that is fine. Not everyone wants to be a parent. Wording though and making it sound like only simps date single moms etc just kinda loses it's merit that you just don't want the responsibility.

If she's out here like

Better find the right girl and marry her while you're still young then. Once you're older the amount of good women without kids dramatically reduces.

🤷🏻‍♀️ Being a single parent isn’t a ‘red flag’ (i’m not sure you understand what ‘red flag’ means), but it can be a no-go, sure. Not everyone is cut out to be a stepparent. It’s good for people to recognize that about themselves. It’s kinda sad you think people who are comfortable being stepdads are ‘simps’ and suckers though.

Anywho.. back to your original question.. I remember my fiancé, and I having a funny conversation about how awful the dating scene is. I remember him saying (aside from the usual things like psychologically unstable), his red flags were non-monogamy-curious, very insecure, being at war with their family, shitty communication skills, and when their finances were a mess.

Single mothers is like trying to continue somebody's else save on a video game in life

When her stories never quite add up and then change multiple times just so that what she is saying is right and I am always wrong regardless of my life experiences and having been places and done things she could never imagine.

Selfishness/self-centredness and lack of manners.

Beggars can't be choosers🤷🏻‍♂️

If she has a dick….

Your loss.

Having a lot of close personal relationships with other men that aren't their family.

Face and neck tattoos.

Smoking.

I answer for my bf. I would say squishmallows
I have one squishmallow, so I'm probably not that bad. Squishmallows are cute.

women have ovaries yet most men complain we over react

Damn dude, reviewing the comments you really rustled some jimmies here...

You're a right charmer.🙄

But it's all good ....they prolly don't want you either.

Referring to their past relationship history more than once after your first date.
Like she might just come out suddenly with"Thats where me and ****** had our first date".Or "That park bench is where me and ****** first had a kiss" stuff like that.
Because you get the feeling YOU will be"Oh thats where me and ***** used to go for lunches"to a future new boyfriend.

I wouldn’t assume problems with a single mom but generally an obvious user is a red flag.

That's not a red flag, you just don't want to deal with them by default.

Wow! Just wow!

Looks like no one answered your question. You probably could have been emotive without it.

I staunchly support everyone's right to be an idiot. In fact, I spent 20 years supporting that right.

I dated a Woman with a child. The Father was violent but she had to give him time with the child. His family also had enough money to buy him a house. She went back to him. He tried to kill all 3 of them by driving into a bridge support. She is a paraplegic now. She chose him over me.

I respect your choice my man, but you may want to reconsider. Who knows, that child could come with life lessons she learned.

At your age dating single moms is a waste of time

I think you would be safer dating a single mother than a mother that’s still in a relationship with someone else. I don’t think her partner would like it very much.

Way too harsh

Relationships are about exploring possibility I suppose. Never know if the one has a kid or two.

And human beings, we do have the immense capacity to love. Who's to say her kids won't change your life?

When your suicidal 😂😂😂

Probably selfishness

Ya butt.

Controlling behavior. Never again.

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So what if the single mother is a widow?

well no the kid probably has toys and video games you can play with

Just remember a child doesn’t ask to be born despite whatever the adults get up to that child deserves love 💕

I guess, it would be dating someone who said what you said.

It says so much more about you than you can even imagine

Not all single mothers are in it for the trap, more like a very small percentage are. Most single mothers are extremely lonely and could use companionship past their children, your attitude is extremely shallow and selfish. Plus you could very well become a very postitive role model for their children and teach them many things in life.