This is for the men. What's the biggest red flag in a relationship for you?
For me, it's dating a single mother. I'm not gonna be a sucker or a simp to even be in that situation. Not my child, not my problem.
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FWIW: Having dated quite a few single mothers in my younger days, I may disagree with the way you worded that, but I tend to agree.
That being said, here is the why.
-Some people, especially younger people are just not interested in being parents at their age. It means that they have to plan their 'experiences' around a child's (or children's) schedules.
-The costs to raise a child today are ever increasing. Some articles are now mentioning >300K to get a kid from infancy through the age of 18. Having "step kids" is GREAT if you can afford it, but it takes away from your 'perceived' ability to procreate your own. IE: "I struggle but we get by with 2 kids. However, I want one of my own and he/she already has 2 so how do I do this."
-Let's face it. When you date a single parent (no matter the sex).... you are going to be second fiddle to his/her existing children. The child's needs and wants come first (AS IT SHOULD BE!). Unfortunately, we have a lot of [b]"deadbeat dads"[/b] in our society. So the single parent either picks up the financial slack.... or his/her new significant other does (or contributes a significant amount towards this end). Ask yourself some questions.... who pays for the babysitter when these single parents have a first date? Who pays for the ballet lessons, the baseball camp, the soccer league, the needed braces and the list is endless. If you have a step AND one from your relationship with said single parent, you certainly shouldn't buy YOUR mutual child things that you will not (or cannot) also provide in an equal fashion to your stepchild.
-These are some of the financial things YOU must consider BEFORE you decide to date a single parent.
-Sorry but none of us live in a "FAIRYTALE" World where everything is just hunky-dory.
And then there is the "age" thing (and it applies to both sexes). I recently spoke with an early thirties friend that commented "Why are all the potential guys I meet divorced and paying support?" ANSWER: because you are 'targeting guys in their mid-thirties. Guys who have already had a first marriage and kids."
That being said, here is the why.
-Some people, especially younger people are just not interested in being parents at their age. It means that they have to plan their 'experiences' around a child's (or children's) schedules.
-The costs to raise a child today are ever increasing. Some articles are now mentioning >300K to get a kid from infancy through the age of 18. Having "step kids" is GREAT if you can afford it, but it takes away from your 'perceived' ability to procreate your own. IE: "I struggle but we get by with 2 kids. However, I want one of my own and he/she already has 2 so how do I do this."
-Let's face it. When you date a single parent (no matter the sex).... you are going to be second fiddle to his/her existing children. The child's needs and wants come first (AS IT SHOULD BE!). Unfortunately, we have a lot of [b]"deadbeat dads"[/b] in our society. So the single parent either picks up the financial slack.... or his/her new significant other does (or contributes a significant amount towards this end). Ask yourself some questions.... who pays for the babysitter when these single parents have a first date? Who pays for the ballet lessons, the baseball camp, the soccer league, the needed braces and the list is endless. If you have a step AND one from your relationship with said single parent, you certainly shouldn't buy YOUR mutual child things that you will not (or cannot) also provide in an equal fashion to your stepchild.
-These are some of the financial things YOU must consider BEFORE you decide to date a single parent.
-Sorry but none of us live in a "FAIRYTALE" World where everything is just hunky-dory.
And then there is the "age" thing (and it applies to both sexes). I recently spoke with an early thirties friend that commented "Why are all the potential guys I meet divorced and paying support?" ANSWER: because you are 'targeting guys in their mid-thirties. Guys who have already had a first marriage and kids."
xSiFiGamer2016x · 22-25, M
@Threepio Yeah, being a father is one of the biggest things to help a relationship grow. I'm not saying all guys do this, but there are some that can and some that won't. And about the wording, it most like have to do with "suckers and simps". That definitely triggered some people, mostly women. It can be harsh by many, but it's just something I don't wanna be and labeled as such. I wasn't even generalizing it, but some thought so though.
I understand what you mean, responsibility is your greatest asset for a family whether you're a stepdad or the biological father. Same for stepmom and biological mother. It all comes down to them.
I understand what you mean, responsibility is your greatest asset for a family whether you're a stepdad or the biological father. Same for stepmom and biological mother. It all comes down to them.