Your grandparents had it right, in my view. Give and take and an overall balance in the various aspects of a relationship is important. Far too many selfishly expect others to "do" for them without holding themselves accountable to return the gestures in kind.

We aren't as traditional as your grandparents were, but every happy couple I know takes pride in giving their partner what they need and being there for them. If it means that one serves the other more and they both like it that way, it's working for them.

Find your balance, let your partner do the same and in a happy place you'll both be content with the relationship.

I think you are looking for balance, and respect in your relationship.

I do all the cooking because I like to cook. We leave culture and tradition out of our relationship. I cook and set the table, I serve dinner, and I clean up afterward. Just because I like to rule over the kitchen.

I am sorry that you might not feel supported, but I think a lot of couples struggle with their roles. I think a lot of husbands expect their wives to take on a lot of things domestically.

I do a lot around the house and I find that it reflects well in my wife's attitude toward me.

You really have to know each others expectations, I have always been leader, however, a partial servant leader, I love doing household work, specially cooking, but not good at cleaning. I always supported wherever i could so she had energy to do more than just household work, specially when it came to kids.
It would be best to ask his expectations and lay out yours and share your capabilities and inabilities. I made some mistakes there and hard lesson learned.

I do remember my mother waking up super early to have breakfast and a lunch ready for my father before he went to work, she even warmed up the car on cold mornings for him. Then she would clean house make dinner and we would all go swimming or spend time with the cousins so they each had their chores I guess. Things are much different now though everyone works outside the house so it’s up to the couple I would suppose.

In the nearly 58 years of marriage things have changed. Roles change because of job status, health conditions and current circumstances. I can cook as well as my wife and after 5 back surgeries alone it is a good thing.
Laundry duties changed as navigation of stairs became more hazardous for her. Things change, love doesn't.

I do most of the cooking in our household, mainly because I don't want my wife to burn the kitchen down ❤‍🔥 My wife and daughter set the table, serve the food, and clear up afterwards. At the weekend my daughter does the baking and sometimes prepares family meals.

Culture and tradition do. But if the man respects the woman and cares enough, I for one would stand that damn the culture and traditions and stereotypes.

Personally, as far as romantic relationships go, I need a partner, not a man who needs a mother.

If the woman is strong enough, she can demand it from the man.

Young girls in our generations are honestly considering not getting married because of how they see their moms live their lives. Women settle for being treated like maids. But no one ever said when one becomes a mother, that's all they have to be. They could still be themselves. And if the partnership is right, the time for oneself should not be something that should be stolen or sacrificed simply because a person decided to be part of a relationship and build a family.

Then of course, easier said than done.

My brother serves his wife in every thing! He cleans, cooks and all other chores in the house. I don’t think it’s fair but it’s none of my business 🤷🏾‍♀

I think relationships are give and take, hopefully in love. If one is good at one part of life, they give there, and if another is good at life in another way they give there, so they find something together mutually beneficial together.

Why do I feel thats a lost love and understanding?

I've cooked for my wife 3 times in the 40ish years we've been together, i have her food poisoning twice, so i do the clearing up instead 🤷🏼‍♂

A couple must help each other, divide the duties and do them accordingly. No one serves anyone. Partners help each other because they love and respect each other. Where love and respect are present, by the grace of God, prosperity will always be a part of that couple's life. That's what I believe! 🙏😇

Marriage should be. It's a 100% service from both people to each other. When you get married, your life is no longer. It's your life, you have now dedicated your life to that.Other person.

In marriage the I and Me should die become us and we

Both people in a marriage should put the other person before themselves.

I've heard that a relationship is 50-50 and then somebody made a nice observation - that is would be better to strive for 100-100

a man isn't marrying a maid.

Things are different back then.

Relationships (or the expectations with it) have changed.


My mother was a housewife and she dedicated much of her time caring for others.

It isn't essential. It's nice, but only if that's what a woman wants to do to please her man. It shouldn't be expected. But, if she does nice things for him, like serving him; he should do kind gestures to her as well.

We often both cook,ales it easier on both. I usually am the breakfast cook and depending on who is home first on who starts dinner.

I do believe that it does influence a relationship but , I myself believe in sharing household duties equally .

Good for you for following more in the path of your grandparents in this way. Of course there should be balance in a marriage, and a wife is not a servant!!

It’s up to the couple, no written rule. My parents were like your grandparents, but I know couples where the woman is kind of subservient….whatever works is fine I suppose

It's not essential, it's a choice but some don't feel they have the choice because of their partner.

It’s more like these are my responsibilities and those are yours. You’re supposed to mutually serve each other. There’s no one person on top.

I don't think it's an assumed thing anymore. It's an agreed upon relationship dynamic.

marriage is not 50\50...it requires 100% from both persons. this goes for any kind of relationship. you both bring unique talents into the relationship

If you don’t agree with that kind of relationship, then you should not do it.

Essential? No.

Everyone is equal in the sight of God.

No you should do things together you are not a slave lol.

Are your parents religious?