Is it essential to serve a man as a wife?

I grew up watching my mum serve my father but resent doing it especially when she'd finally sit down and he'd say he wanted either salt or hot pepper sauce.

Whereas I watched my grandparents help each other some nights my grandmother would cook other nights my grandfather would reheat left overs but my grandfather and I would always set the table.

I am struggling a little whereby I don't believe any one person should serve, I've tried to implement a tradition whereby we share duties so my partner will serve me food if I'm dealing with baby and vice versa.
But there's no preference on meat or anything in particular. We pretty much just serve and if the person wants a bit more they may get up and help themselves.

It's not about "serving"

Do you think this influences the way a relationship goes?

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Casheyane · 31-35, F

Culture and tradition do. But if the man respects the woman and cares enough, I for one would stand that damn the culture and traditions and stereotypes.

Personally, as far as romantic relationships go, I need a partner, not a man who needs a mother.

If the woman is strong enough, she can demand it from the man.

Young girls in our generations are honestly considering not getting married because of how they see their moms live their lives. Women settle for being treated like maids. But no one ever said when one becomes a mother, that's all they have to be. They could still be themselves. And if the partnership is right, the time for oneself should not be something that should be stolen or sacrificed simply because a person decided to be part of a relationship and build a family.

Then of course, easier said than done.

Realifecuckold · 61-69, M

@Casheyane Well said. But I think a lot of women, and a lot of men, are avoiding or forgetting about marriage altogether. I don't know whether it is because of the expectations of traditional roles, or the monotony of monogamy, or the drudgery of everyday life with one person forever, but I think many people are choosing to be single, even if they want to have a family.

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Realifecuckold · 61-69, M

@SinlessOnslaught Wow. You did grow up. So few men do. So few men admit what you just did. What a man!

SinlessOnslaught · M

@Realifecuckold I can't tell if you're being sarcastic lol

Realifecuckold · 61-69, M

@SinlessOnslaught I am not being sarcastic. I am being completely respectful of you.

Casheyane · 31-35, F

@SinlessOnslaught I don't know him but I get the sense that he's trying to be fatherly to you by encouraging your realization to change and change for the better.

It does take bravery to see the wrong in what everyone around you is used to and decide not to copy it.