Is it essential to serve a man as a wife?

I grew up watching my mum serve my father but resent doing it especially when she'd finally sit down and he'd say he wanted either salt or hot pepper sauce.

Whereas I watched my grandparents help each other some nights my grandmother would cook other nights my grandfather would reheat left overs but my grandfather and I would always set the table.

I am struggling a little whereby I don't believe any one person should serve, I've tried to implement a tradition whereby we share duties so my partner will serve me food if I'm dealing with baby and vice versa.
But there's no preference on meat or anything in particular. We pretty much just serve and if the person wants a bit more they may get up and help themselves.

It's not about "serving"

Do you think this influences the way a relationship goes?

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Pretzel · 70-79, M

I've heard that a relationship is 50-50 and then somebody made a nice observation - that is would be better to strive for 100-100

a man isn't marrying a maid.

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@Pretzel I hear what you're saying but do you ever feel like the blurred lines cause confusion.

Or is this just a person complication?

Pretzel · 70-79, M

@Mellowgirl I look at it like this
if you're both working you share the chores equally (inside and out of the house)

if one is working 40 hours outside then the other could work 40 hours inside (that includes taking care of children)

here's the thing each person should ask "is it fair to expect the other to do X for me?"

I can get my own salt. if you're up and headed that way I could ask you to get it for me.

If you cook - I should clear the dishes.

It's a team and not a employment contract

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@Pretzel I hear you and I'm all for this. I think it's key to be fair. Because I suppose at various times in ones life it may not always be 50/50 because of health or work commitments and whatever else really