Is it essential to serve a man as a wife?

I grew up watching my mum serve my father but resent doing it especially when she'd finally sit down and he'd say he wanted either salt or hot pepper sauce.

Whereas I watched my grandparents help each other some nights my grandmother would cook other nights my grandfather would reheat left overs but my grandfather and I would always set the table.

I am struggling a little whereby I don't believe any one person should serve, I've tried to implement a tradition whereby we share duties so my partner will serve me food if I'm dealing with baby and vice versa.
But there's no preference on meat or anything in particular. We pretty much just serve and if the person wants a bit more they may get up and help themselves.

It's not about "serving"

Do you think this influences the way a relationship goes?

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Fieldmaster · 46-50, M

You really have to know each others expectations, I have always been leader, however, a partial servant leader, I love doing household work, specially cooking, but not good at cleaning. I always supported wherever i could so she had energy to do more than just household work, specially when it came to kids.
It would be best to ask his expectations and lay out yours and share your capabilities and inabilities. I made some mistakes there and hard lesson learned.