Is it essential to serve a man as a wife?

I grew up watching my mum serve my father but resent doing it especially when she'd finally sit down and he'd say he wanted either salt or hot pepper sauce.

Whereas I watched my grandparents help each other some nights my grandmother would cook other nights my grandfather would reheat left overs but my grandfather and I would always set the table.

I am struggling a little whereby I don't believe any one person should serve, I've tried to implement a tradition whereby we share duties so my partner will serve me food if I'm dealing with baby and vice versa.
But there's no preference on meat or anything in particular. We pretty much just serve and if the person wants a bit more they may get up and help themselves.

It's not about "serving"

Do you think this influences the way a relationship goes?

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awildsheepschase

I think relationships are give and take, hopefully in love. If one is good at one part of life, they give there, and if another is good at life in another way they give there, so they find something together mutually beneficial together.

Why do I feel thats a lost love and understanding?

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@awildsheepschase I do believe relationships are give and take. I have always been the kind of person who values looking after my partner, but I expect that too. However that looks, I guess nice gestures are always welcome, and communicating clearly about how that looks is key to ensuring both parties are happy.

But I do wonder sometimes if on a whole all this blur is causing distribution in regards to how well relationships go.
I'm not desperate to keep a man, just looking at ways to make my relationship work. But older wiser more experienced individuals can sometimes offer perspectives on how they interpret things.

You know.

awildsheepschase

@Mellowgirl I just think you know if there is even a relationship there for you, and in this world which does devalue, in my opinion, caring for another and relationships you only know. It is key those who have affection for who they are with to show their affection, and who they are with show their affections, that's the key ingredient for a relationship in so many ways