Is it essential to serve a man as a wife?

I grew up watching my mum serve my father but resent doing it especially when she'd finally sit down and he'd say he wanted either salt or hot pepper sauce.

Whereas I watched my grandparents help each other some nights my grandmother would cook other nights my grandfather would reheat left overs but my grandfather and I would always set the table.

I am struggling a little whereby I don't believe any one person should serve, I've tried to implement a tradition whereby we share duties so my partner will serve me food if I'm dealing with baby and vice versa.
But there's no preference on meat or anything in particular. We pretty much just serve and if the person wants a bit more they may get up and help themselves.

It's not about "serving"

Do you think this influences the way a relationship goes?

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1490wayb · 56-60, M

marriage is not 50\50...it requires 100% from both persons. this goes for any kind of relationship. you both bring unique talents into the relationship

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@1490wayb I appreciate this, but both my partner and I for example love cooking. He is a home maker much like myself. He enjoys baking and gains great satisfaction from being able to prepare a meal.
He likes to do laundry and hoover and any other kind of chores. He actually has weekly checklists on his phone. So sometimes I can feel a little redundant.
It's not that he won't let me do things I guess we haven't really gotten into a real pattern.

As you can see from how I handle the "serving" it's not that I don't care for him I just don't see why I should be the one to do it all the time. Especially when we're both able bodied.

Im just curious about how others have navigated this.