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Idk if whether it is traumatise to me or not, but while she was alive when I was a kid, I used to puke when having fever. She always told me to clean the mess up despite I was really sick that time. She told no one is gonna help you (me).
Now, even I was sick I refuse to ask help from anyone because it might annoying them or burdening them.
I think her intention was not making me clinging to people too much. Thanks to that. I am not whining unless my condition was too severe or the pain is unbearable.
But there is also one is traumatising me. I was molested by someone and yet I was blaming for showing too much skin. She never report it because she know that person. Since then, I don't like exposing my skin too much unless I am alone.
And. I always scared to mention my problem to her even when I got my first period. I was so scared blood gushing down there. I put tissues and blood still not stop. I even tried to block something to stop the bleeding.
My sister find out when the looked my seated bleed and then she told mum.
Of course she wasn't angry but she was like a tiger. Always angry.
Now, even I was sick I refuse to ask help from anyone because it might annoying them or burdening them.
I think her intention was not making me clinging to people too much. Thanks to that. I am not whining unless my condition was too severe or the pain is unbearable.
But there is also one is traumatising me. I was molested by someone and yet I was blaming for showing too much skin. She never report it because she know that person. Since then, I don't like exposing my skin too much unless I am alone.
And. I always scared to mention my problem to her even when I got my first period. I was so scared blood gushing down there. I put tissues and blood still not stop. I even tried to block something to stop the bleeding.
My sister find out when the looked my seated bleed and then she told mum.
Of course she wasn't angry but she was like a tiger. Always angry.
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iamelijah · 26-30, M
@Mardrae Sometimes I deeply I feel angry on her but sometimes I feel pity for her.
She was victim of cycle abuse too. She was a smart girl but she was force not going to school by her parents. In the end, she marriage at young age with my dad, seeking for stable life but also struggle with her in laws family (my father's family).
She was an independent woman but has to abide patriarchy rules. She struggle to read. She's not illiteral but she never been to high school. She never stop learning. She liked cooking and as always she read newspaper and sometimes she tried to write. She has few diary she made her own. For her, education is important but she lack how source since she was a housewife, unsupportive father (my late grandpa, she hated him), and conflict from her family in laws.
Maybe she resent her life but lash it on me. At first I never undestand her behavior. Now, I am adult and understanding her pov. But I don't care anymore. She's gone. At least, no one can hurt her anymore.
Tbh, I wanna write more long sad life stories from my family that I wanna tell but I cannot write in chronology so it might gonna confused a bit to some readers.
She was victim of cycle abuse too. She was a smart girl but she was force not going to school by her parents. In the end, she marriage at young age with my dad, seeking for stable life but also struggle with her in laws family (my father's family).
She was an independent woman but has to abide patriarchy rules. She struggle to read. She's not illiteral but she never been to high school. She never stop learning. She liked cooking and as always she read newspaper and sometimes she tried to write. She has few diary she made her own. For her, education is important but she lack how source since she was a housewife, unsupportive father (my late grandpa, she hated him), and conflict from her family in laws.
Maybe she resent her life but lash it on me. At first I never undestand her behavior. Now, I am adult and understanding her pov. But I don't care anymore. She's gone. At least, no one can hurt her anymore.
Tbh, I wanna write more long sad life stories from my family that I wanna tell but I cannot write in chronology so it might gonna confused a bit to some readers.
Mardrae · F
@iamelijah oh that is so sad!!! That probably is exactly what happened when she lashed out at you. She was probably incredibly unhappy inside and tried to be a good mother but had so much anger and resentment inside. But it’s so good that you have realized as an adult what was happening and you can break that cycle. Journaling your memories would probably help too- I have a diary app on my phone that I write my thoughts in when I need to let things out.
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@iamelijah that is horrible on both accounts
Heartlander · 80-89, M
Well, for me, the victories outnumbered the traumas.
One victory goes back to my 3 or 4 yer old days when my older brother and I slept in the same bed. It was the same thing every night. He would kick me, I would react, and our mom would rush in and give me a smack and a lecture about waking up the whole house.
One night I convinced him to change sides. And again, late in the night, he kicked me, I reacted and our mom rushed in and smacked HIM.
I stayed awake another hour just laughing.
One victory goes back to my 3 or 4 yer old days when my older brother and I slept in the same bed. It was the same thing every night. He would kick me, I would react, and our mom would rush in and give me a smack and a lecture about waking up the whole house.
One night I convinced him to change sides. And again, late in the night, he kicked me, I reacted and our mom rushed in and smacked HIM.
I stayed awake another hour just laughing.
Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M
I wish it had been you that died instead of your sister
Mardrae · F
@Cigarguy101 my brother died and mom said something similar to me too.
meggie · F
@Cigarguy101 what an awful mother. I hope you have a good life and put that revolting comment behind you.
DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F
Moms can be fucking terrible.
My mom has said some pretty awful things to me, but the worst thing was that I was useless, worthless, and would never get out of my hometown or make anything of myself.
It affected me so much that as an adult I moved around constantly and moved further away each time, just to prove her wrong. To this day the thought of living in my hometown again feels suffocating and like I'd be a failure.
My mom has said some pretty awful things to me, but the worst thing was that I was useless, worthless, and would never get out of my hometown or make anything of myself.
It affected me so much that as an adult I moved around constantly and moved further away each time, just to prove her wrong. To this day the thought of living in my hometown again feels suffocating and like I'd be a failure.
Mardrae · F
@DearAmbellina2113 I’m so sorry! It’s amazing how things our parents say to us as children still affect us today! I never go back to where I grew up because it reminds me of my bad childhood.
Heartlander · 80-89, M
mom would tell me that there were monsters
I spent one of my college year summers working as a summer camp counselor at a YMCA camp and I still remember one 9 or 10 year old kid that was so frightened of the water that he went into panic mode at just the mention of going to the pool or going swimming. 100 kids splashing in the pool, having a blast, and this one kid as far away as possible, back against the wall, terrified that one of the other kids might push him into the pool.
It was the same "monster" thing. His mom had drilled him from birth that there were monsters in the lake, in the ocean, in the river, in the pool and even in a puddle. So he had to be careful and never go in the water.
Mardrae · F
@Heartlander oh wow- that poor kid!! And really nothing you can say to ease his fears become it was so ingrained into his brain.
Degbeme · 70-79, M
If you don`t stop that your face will stay that way. She might have been right? 🤭
PhlipipUK · 70-79, M
When I was seven or eight years old my mother told me that I was a mistake and that I wasn't wanted. When I was sixteen my father took me to one side and told me that if I had any thoughts of going to university I shouldn't expect any help from him. And those were the good times.
GerOttman · 61-69, M
She once told me she was going to crack my skull open with the heel of her shoe while holding said shoe menacingly above my head. I believed her...
zonavar68 · 56-60, M
That I will never be no good at anything (because I elected to give up on university) and I'm never allowed to bring a girl back to her house (which didn't matter as I didn't understand or have any interest in girls or sex or dating in my teens or early 20's).
nonsensiclesnail · F
Your mom was pretty brutal with that night time routine!
Mardrae · F
@nonsensiclesnail oh that wasn’t even all of it. She used to tell me that if I didn’t get out of the bathtub when she wanted me to, I would go down the drain and drown in Hell. And that whenever I did something bad like getting into a fight with my sister or making a C on my report card, I was going to burn in Hell. And constantly telling me I was an evil child.
SW-User
@Mardrae That is so sad...that a parent could be that way with a child.
nonsensiclesnail · F
@Mardrae What a garbage way to treat a kid. Im sorry you were that kid. my mom doesn't have a brutal bone in her body. She just utterly ignored me. As long as she didn't have to deal with me, it was fine. Otherwise all I heard from her was how much I hated her. Which was news to me... she has self worth issues.
Starcrossed · 41-45, F
"Are you pregnant?"
To 16 yr old virgin me trying on prom dresses. Thanks for calling me fat Ma.
To 16 yr old virgin me trying on prom dresses. Thanks for calling me fat Ma.
Mardrae · F
@Starcrossed ugh. I had to go on birth control when I was a teenager because of PMDD and severe cluster headaches. The doctor did a pregnancy test on me and my mom started accusing me of not being a virgin. 😂
DreamyCrush · F
My mother was far from nurturing. She often called my sister and I 'Dummy', she told others [at a party] that I couldn't dance (while watching me on the dance floor), she would always ask boyfriends we allowed her to meet "Why do you like her?" She even told me that I BETTER like one of her boyfriends. Anytime I had my hair braided, or wore hair extensions of any kind, she called it 'dog hair', so to this day I avoid her when wearing those hairstyles. WTF? Just awful.
InHeaven · F
That I am a piece of shit just like my father. And many other things
Thevy29 · 41-45, M
The deadly toxic gases, the warning signs warn you of at the Silos. Are exaggerated. All they did was make me horribly sick and wish I was dead and not the outcome I was hoping for at the time. Mom just called me a; 'F#king lazy, useless c#nt!' and left me to my convulsions. It was not a very good week for me but I stopped chucking my guts up at least.
Mine was an Angel - during Her presence and eversince.
She tol me once I make her want to kill herself.
Mardrae · F
@DealWithIt my mother didn’t say that but I am sure she thought it a lot.
DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
Too nasty for here. Besides it was in Romanian. I didn't learn what it meant until I visited relatives in Germany.
When she learned that I knew what it meant she never said again though.
Yet it affected the rest of my life because she said other negative stuff as well.
When she learned that I knew what it meant she never said again though.
Yet it affected the rest of my life because she said other negative stuff as well.
Wallflow3r · 26-30, F
My mom told me if ever touch anything underneath the kitchen sink the flesh off my hands will melt away and I will die. I never did touch anything under the kitchen sink anyways. 🙄 pfff
Mardrae · F
@Wallflow3r do those words ever come into your mind when you reach under the counter now?
Wallflow3r · 26-30, F
Lol no @Mardrae
GoneSilent · 26-30, F
That i am a prostitute if i apply kajal to my eyes. I don't even know the meaning of it that time but she shouted in front of everyone at super market.
Mardrae · F
@GoneSilent wow!! So has that affected whether you wear it now or not? My mom used to say similar things to me too. Which made me wear it more! Lol
GoneSilent · 26-30, F
@Mardrae i do wear sometimes. Especially when I'm not around her.
BeJeweled · F
My older step sister told me that if you are awake at midnight the boogie man will get you. I always put my blanket over my head after that!😳
CrazyMusicLover · 31-35
"I think I wouldn't have that done if it was me."
If you treat it like there was an option to refuse then why did you let them do it to me?
If you treat it like there was an option to refuse then why did you let them do it to me?
Nebula · 41-45, F
" it hurts to be beautiful" as she ripped through my curly hair with this rounded evil brush
Andromedanian · 22-25, M
Almost everything she said to me was discouraging and emotionally damaging, hehe
Mardrae · F
@Andromedanian I know the feeling. I’m sorry you experienced it too
thepreposterouspanda · 36-40, M
I don't really remember. It was a lot of religious trauma though. She was pretty zealous when I was a kid.
meggie · F
That I'd be 16 and pregnant in the gutter
SW-User
That I have a pretty face but I need to lose weight
Doomflower · 36-40, M
No one will love you if you're fat.
Mardrae · F
@Doomflower ouch. Mine was “ no one will love you because you’re not a virgin anymore “ lol
WaryWitchWandering · 36-40, F
“That can’t be true”
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
I was trying to crack black walnuts on a tool in my uncles smokehouse and fell and hit my head. I went to the house and showed my aunt and she said “You’ve busted your head open!” I was maybe 4 years old and thought my brains were going to fall out
TheLordOfHell · 41-45
Wow! Heffalumps and woozles, hey?
Mardrae · F
@TheLordOfHell not sure what those are, but they sound about right!
Azlotto · M
pianoplayingsteve · 31-35, M
Well, when I was very young I accidentally stumbled on a porn site. I was so young that the naked lady on the landing page was a little scary. I told my dad and he said ‘you’ll go to prison for going on those sites, but because I’m your dad I’ll go to prison’. I was too young to really understand the concept of legal or illegal, what prison was like or what could be on the porn site past a naked lady. It gave me this really horrible feeling around the area of liking girls and building my knowledge on the area of sex on the false premise that porn was illegal really messed me up.
Mardrae · F
@pianoplayingsteve feel free to share if it helps
pianoplayingsteve · 31-35, M
@Mardrae could PM?
Mardrae · F
@pianoplayingsteve sure, pm me
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